By building expectations, determining for himself the necessary level of requirements for a partner, a person strives for love, going through meetings and partings, successful and unsuccessful dates, leaving painful marks on the heart. What do you need to know about this in order to perceive the situation as objectively as possible, without allowing anyone to destroy your own personality?
The dangers of bad dates
The Daily Mail published the results of an online survey conducted with respondents who had experience of failures in dating the opposite sex. Frustrated young people reported a significant deterioration in their health, from increased anxiety levels (25%) to skin problems (6%), manifested in the form of a reddish rash or eczema. 10% of respondents began to experience unregulated overeating, and a third showed signs of real depression.
This is understandable from a medical point of view: stress contributes to the release of testosterone and cortisol. The first affects the functioning of the sebaceous glands, which secrete an increased amount of fat, leading to skin rashes, and cortisol, through the receptors of the hypothalamus, affects a significant increase in appetite. Weakening of the immune system due to stress affects the duration of the disease state.
Severe psychological consequences led to a reluctance to meet again (70%) and disruption of communication with loved ones due to fear of questions and negative assessments of what happened. By refusing further dates, a person deprives himself of a feeling of happiness, a positive outlook on the world, motivation to work on himself and his appearance, which gives a surge of hormones. Is it possible to understand the signs of a bad date in advance in order to avoid serious consequences?
What should you be wary of the day before?
Smart people only go to meetings with partners they know and are confident in. But in the age of the Internet and mobile communications, blind dates are increasingly being practiced among people, so those who are prudent prefer to be a little late and watch the girl or guy from afar in order to avoid unpleasant disappointments. And so that their conscience does not torment them, they call and come up with a good reason for the impossibility of meeting. This is unpleasant, but it hurts the partner’s pride less and does not lead to a senseless waste of time.
The most unsuccessful dates begin with deception: instead of a real photograph, the unlimited possibilities of Photoshop are demonstrated, or even a figurehead. Age, income, profession, marital status are distorted. What does the deceiver count on? The fact that meaningful correspondence revealed a rich inner world, which on the first date will outweigh everything else. Alas, the disappointment from the meeting can be so strong that everything achieved during the preliminary communication will lose its meaning. It is better not to deal with a person who has been caught in a lie.
In addition to deception, you should pay attention to:
- on the place and time of the proposed meeting, which well informs about the partner’s intentions (you should not create the illusion that a date in someone’s apartment will be exclusively romantic in nature);
- excessive insistence of the partner in any moments (you can always run into a pick-up artist, debater or figurehead who has goals far from love ones);
- partner’s contacts (meeting with a person whose only e-mail is known means exposing yourself to a certain risk).
The importance of the first meeting
An unsuccessful event can program a person for a certain scenario in the future, so if there is a fair amount of doubt, it is better to refuse the meeting. A certain complex can form in both girls and boys. Their failures in the future will be associated with a feeling of fear and anxiety before repeating the opening story. Fear leads to tension and stiffness (presentation of oneself, gestures, posture, facial expressions), which completely deprives one of external sexuality. It either paralyzes mental activity or causes excessive activity, which is also quite bad.
Losers react incorrectly to compliments, perceiving them as flattery: “No, that’s not my hair color, I dyed it”; “Yes, I don’t go to training regularly, you should have seen my friend’s abs on his stomach.” As a result, the girl gets the impression that she is an ordinary gray mouse, and the guy is not seen as having the necessary masculinity and manliness. Which leads to further failures on the love front.
The first date turned out to be the last for Jessica McKenzie
Stars' unsuccessful dates become public knowledge, stories about which can be read on the Internet. Twenty-five-year-old student Jessica McKenzie published on her social network page the details of her meeting with the young talent of the Manchester United club, Adnan Januzaj. A member of the $5 million-a-year Belgian soccer team showed up to the date on foot in a tracksuit. While the girl spent a certain amount on hair, makeup and a glamorous outfit. I went by car to the fast food restaurant Nando's, where the football player treated the girl to cheap chicken burgers.
The finale of the meeting was a room in a three-star hotel, where the guy and his companion watched TV until nine in the evening. After which Adnan asked to be taken home, since he had to get up early for training in the morning. It is obvious to everyone that an angry Jessica made public a piquant story of revenge on a football player who not only did not live up to her hopes, but also left the beginning of the relationship without continuation. Why is this happening? Why does the first meeting become the last?
Unsuccessful dates through the eyes of men: main signs
One can guess what Adnan was guided by when he chose such a plan for the rendezvous. It is likely that this was a test of the sincerity of the girl’s feelings. But one thing should be said with confidence: the spark that should run between people has not been ignited. Foreign studies of the reasons for unsuccessful dates among visitors to dating sites have determined that 64% of respondents see this as the main reason for their failed meetings. And if girls are ready to continue communication, giving men a second chance and finding other advantages in them, then for a man this is the end of the acquaintance. They must desire their partner.
Among the signs of an unsuccessful date, men - listeners of Mayak radio, in a program specifically dedicated to this topic, highlighted those that turned them away from their girlfriends:
- didn’t show up, was significantly late;
- showed up with a friend;
- immediately stipulated that time for the meeting was limited;
- asked for help closing a cash loan;
- persistently asked whether he knew how to operate a chainsaw;
- She was unpleasantly surprised in appearance (she came in a chic floor-length dress, and with unwashed ears);
- I ordered so much at the restaurant that I could barely pay for it;
- had too much alcohol;
- I spent the entire evening talking about my ex.
Obviously, half the reasons would not have been mentioned if the girl really liked her. For men hoping for continuation, unsuccessful dates with women mean a lack of invitation to tea. Or even worse, an invitation without development. A girl on the forum described how, after a protracted party, she felt sorry for him and left the guy to spend the night with her. And then she kept texting all the time, fighting off his persistent advances. At the same time, the guy was lying two steps away from her on the floor. The male psyche is not capable of grasping nuances, perceiving signals unambiguously: she left, which means she is waiting for continuation. Nothing hits a man’s self-esteem more than female provocative behavior.
A woman's perspective on the signs of a bad date
Girls, as more sophisticated natures, have their own list of requirements for the opposite sex. The longer it is, the greater the likelihood of disappointment from the meeting. Bad dates through the eyes of women are:
- “Fedot, but not that one” - the wrong type of male appearance, a disapproved style of clothing, an unpresentable appearance (a significant part of smart girls are ready to give an additional chance).
- “He says the wrong thing” - he is rude in speech, allows categorical judgments and aggressive attacks; complains about fate, lack of work, mortgage and business failures; talks only about himself, without ever asking a single question.
- “Does the wrong thing” - argues with the waiter over change, regrets tips, does not pay for the girl; indecently gropes his partner, allowing frivolity and directly offering sex; aggressive with third parties, provokes a scandal.
But the most unsuccessful dates, the stories about which listeners of Mayak radio told, were overshadowed by unpleasant surprises discovered by chance. The guy announces that he forgot his wallet, an unexpectedly met acquaintance “tells” that he has been married for a long time and has children, tattoos with origins from prison are found under his T-shirt.
These meaningful conversations
Dating site respondents ranked psychological incompatibility in 2nd place among the reasons for unsuccessful dates (47%). It manifests itself best during a conversation that creates serious tension. What influences this?
- An awkward silence that is difficult for both parties to overcome.
- Brief answers that leave no chance for developing the topic of conversation.
- The absence of clarifying questions indicating a lack of interest on the part of the partner.
- A blank stare or poor eye contact.
- Difficulties in choosing topics for dialogue.
- An abundance of information that is difficult to cope with.
- Unreasonable distraction by phone or other contacts.
- Phrases indicating the interlocutor’s inattention.
- Memories of exes (16% of respondents consider this a sufficient reason for ending a relationship).
- The partner does not call by name or has confused it altogether.
- Finding reasons to end the dialogue: work, memories of unfinished business, health conditions.
Usually, unsuccessful dates end with a handshake or an awkward hug, no promises to continue the acquaintance, and a request from the girl not to accompany her. The most deadly phrase from a man: “We’ll call you,” which the interested party clutches at like a straw. But this is one of the signs that a second meeting is unlikely to follow.
Star stories
Unforgiven awkwardness
The most successful people known all over the world have had bad dates, which they share in the hope of supporting the unlucky ones. Girl's Life published the story of Justin Bieber, the favorite of millions of girls, who told the world about the fiasco that he suffered in an Italian restaurant during a date. Having knocked over a plate of spaghetti on the girl, Justin could not beg for forgiveness and broke up with his passion.
Missed opportunity
A popular TV presenter, 10 years later, learned about the missed opportunity to win the heart of the golden-haired beauty Nicole Kidman. Having invited her to dinner, he was too nervous to carry on a conversation and turned on a video game. The young woman who really liked him thought that she simply wasn't really interested in Jimmy.
"Dynamo"
Not everyone is ready to describe their worst date. The story of a man known from the TV show “Rules of Renting,” Sergei Stillavin, is a revelation about how he, a real master, was once “pushed” by an ordinary girl. Having bought two bouquets of flowers and hidden them in the trunk of the car, he met his chosen one on the eve of an important event for himself - meeting her mother. The girl said that there were unexpected guests in the house, so the meeting needed to be rescheduled until they left. For four hours the couple drove around the city waiting for the cherished hour, until after the next call the would-be bride revealed that her grandmother had died. Stillavin had to throw away the flowers, which by that time had spread their aroma throughout the entire interior of the car.
Screen Stories
Men's bad dates are best described in the 1970 Soviet film The Seven Brides of Corporal Zbruev, which can be seen as an encyclopedia of an unlucky guy. The viewer watches seven meetings with girls through correspondence of the brave soldier, whose portrait adorned the cover of the magazine “Skillful Warrior”. His dates have everything: deception on the part of a Komsomol functionary who lures a soldier to a youth construction site in Siberia; an oversight that cost him a failed meeting with a girl named Oksana waiting on the platform; interference from third parties in the form of the hostel commandant when communicating with the modest Lyusya from a small weaving town. The most typical stories include two.
“Hello, stork!”
To this song, the main character left yet another would-be newlywed, refusing even a cup of tea. She has everything with her: beauty, romance, decency, thriftiness. Is this not what a former orphan named Konstantin was looking for when he began his journey through girls he knew in absentia? That's the point. But such a rapid development of events, in which communication is based on viewing him through the prism of a potential groom, will scare off any man. Having given a positive assessment on all indicators, the girl “privatized” the gentleman, introducing him to neighbors, making joint plans, raising him like a child. You always want to break out of skillfully created bonds, which is what the main character does.
Alluring beauty
An example of incorrectly built expectations in the head was the meeting of Kostya from Gunyaevo with a famous actress, who also once came to conquer Moscow from the rural outback. Longing for a barefoot rural childhood prompted her to write to a young soldier. There is nothing personal in the letters, no promises. But captivated by the extraordinary beauty, Kostya dreams of a possible fateful meeting, trying to conquer the young beauty. In her eyes, he is an awkward country guy who does not know how to call a taxi in a large metropolis, and cannot even cope with the role of a plumber. A moment later, he completely merges for her with the crowd of cadets. The young man traveled thousands of kilometers in search of such alluring but inaccessible beauty.
Stories of ordinary people
Stories about bad dates are very important both for the storytellers themselves and for the listeners or readers. This is a way to cope with stress more easily. It is known that 24% of unhappy people try to lift their mood with alcohol, 13% with shopping, not realizing that analysis of events and an ironic attitude towards what is happening are much stronger medicines. An example is the story of Michelle Thomas (Great Britain).
The girl met a guy whom she charmed during the meeting with his intelligence, character, and manners. The next day she received a letter where he admitted this, expressing his readiness to marry. But on one condition: Michelle needs to lose a few extra pounds. The girl was so offended that she wrote him an open letter in a blog read by thousands of young women afraid to love and accept themselves as they are. With her answer, Michelle started a whole campaign that shook the Internet.
The most unsuccessful dates teach how to get out of difficult situations that anyone can find themselves in:
- the guy came on a date with his mother, citing the fact that he would not waste time on someone his mother would not like;
- the next morning the girl pleases the guy with the results of the test with two stripes;
- leaving the restroom in the cafe, the lady changed the table and sat down with strangers;
- When he saw his companion without makeup in the morning, the guy was horrified.
Thousands of stories teach the main thing: sometimes parting with a partner is a blessing, giving hope to meet your soul mate faster, approaching her through a deep understanding of what is happening. And the understanding that other people's tastes should not be another person's problem.
Your date has come to an end, and on the way home you're tormenting yourself with speculation about how exactly it went? Are you trying to weigh the pros and cons, to understand what your new boyfriend liked? There are ways to determine if everything is going as it should!
So, 7 main signs that your date went well and your relationship may have a future:
- Duration of the date
If everything goes as it should, you won't want the meeting to end. Therefore, if a date lasts more than an hour, this is a good reason to consider it successful. If you or your boyfriend endlessly look at the clock, then the date is a failure.
- Pleasant conversation
If you find it easy to communicate with each other, this is a sure sign of a successful first date. The conversation should be relaxed and natural, and topics for conversation should arise naturally.
- Light touches
This is a very subtle sign, if the person you came on a date with does not attack you and starts hugging you, this does not mean that the evening is lost. But if he touches your arm, hair, knee, and you both feel comfortable, congratulations!
- Eye contact
When partners don't like each other, they usually don't make eye contact. And vice versa. So, if you look at each other all the time and make eye contact while talking, everything goes according to script.
- Watch your body language during a date
If a man is really interested in you, he will blush and be nervous, so you will definitely notice it. In addition, he will find even your flattest jokes funny, and therefore will laugh long and hard when you give him such a reason during a date. Watch your body language: the person casually licks his lips, casts subtle glances at you, is embarrassed, and so on. These are all signs that he is physically attractive to you.
- The end of a good first date drags on
If a date ends abruptly, without attempts to make a new one and without plans for the next evening, everything is sad. If you both want to stay close a little longer, this is a great sign. You are also on the right track if your partner does not run away, saying as an excuse that he urgently needs to feed the dog, or to get up early in the morning.
- Future plans
We are not saying that the first date should end with a conversation about the wedding - under no circumstances! However, if you share plans with each other about what you would like to do and try in the future, this is a good sign. You will probably meet again!
As you can see, it's not difficult to determine if a first date is going well. Just be careful! Don't miss the signs that will tell you.
It's not that difficult to fail a first date, and no one is immune from it. A person may be blessed with good looks, have a great sense of humor, be successful in his career and have many other advantages, but this will not protect him from an unsuccessful first date.
Signs that the first date is a failure:
- Lack of excitement. Complete indifference, both on the part of a woman and on the part of a man, speaks volumes. Even though, for example, a woman has won more than one beauty contest, she will still experience a slight nervous state if she likes a man. When it becomes obvious to one of those meeting that this is the first and last date, then nervousness and excitement will give way to complete indifference.
- No eye to eye contact. It’s not for nothing that they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. You can easily read in the eyes how a person feels about his surroundings. This sign especially shows the attitude of women to what is happening. Many representatives of the fair sex love to flirt, shoot their eyes and use their eyes in every possible way to demonstrate to a man that she is very attracted to him. If a woman on a date only looks at her plate, at the TV screen at the bar, and God knows where else, but not at the man, then this is the first sign that this meeting turned out to be an unsuccessful first date.
- Reluctance to shorten the distance. If the interlocutor is experienced in dating and is interested in a partner for further meetings, then there can be no exceptions; he will begin to close the distance: he will inadvertently touch the interlocutor’s hand, shake off non-existent specks of dust from his shoulder, move closer to talk, and so on.
- You can also ruin your first date using your phone. If a girl or guy does not part with her communication device at a meeting, constantly answers calls or calls someone himself, responds to endless SMS or simply looks through a social network, then it’s clear that there will be no next date.
- Long awkward pauses. If the conversation doesn’t go well, and one of the partners bends over backwards to start a conversation on any topic, while the other looks with an indifferent gaze and remains silent, then this is another clear evidence of an unsuccessful first date.
- Denial and silence about points of contact. People are designed in such a way that, given their likings, they want to find any topics that would help them get closer to the person they like. This could be your favorite musical group, movie, hobby, sport, etc. When one of the partners is intensely looking for common topics for conversation and trying to find out mutual interests, while the other remains silent and denies everything, it means there is no interest in continuing the acquaintance.
- It's easy to ruin a first date by mentioning your ex-lovers. This rule applies not only to the first date, but also to subsequent meetings. There is no point in returning to the past while living in the present. Moreover, there is no need to make comparisons between people by saying it out loud. If a girl or guy comes back talking about their former passions, it means the feelings have not completely subsided and the person is not capable of building new and stable relationships.
- Refusal to continue. If people like each other, they will try their best to delay the time of separation. After being together for the required couple of hours on the first date, there will be no desire to go about your business. Therefore, the date can continue in a cafe, a walk in the park, visiting a cinema and other places. The main thing in this matter will be that people are together.
- Other plans. Sometimes on a date, one of the partners, for example a man, finds out that the woman has allocated at most 1-2 hours for their meeting, and then her plans include other entertainment (going to the cinema with her friends, visiting a cafe with colleagues, etc.). Then the outcome will be clear, the woman did not like the man and instead of continuing the date with him, she chooses anything but spending time together. Conversely, if a woman abandons pre-established plans and remains with a man, then the date is not considered a failed event.
- A very quick goodbye. The moment of goodbye is as important as the date itself. From these minutes you can understand a lot about the prospects for the future: whether they have a place to be or not. No matter how awkward people feel when talking about seemingly nonsense, the moments of farewell should be delayed a little. If a girl’s farewell consists of the words: “That’s it, bye, I’m off,” and at the same time she really quickly turns around and leaves, then the guy probably shouldn’t delude himself about her and wait for a second meeting.
- It's very easy to ruin a first date by being rude. A man can be attentive and gallant with a girl, but in relation to other people (a waiter in a cafe, a cashier in a cinema, ordinary passers-by, etc.) he can show rudeness and aggression. Often, such behavior will alert the girl and she is unlikely to agree to future meetings.
- Excessive nervousness. This can apply to many things, for example, a man is very worried about his empty glass and greedily watches other cafe visitors who drink to their heart's content. This situation may lead to thoughts of some kind of dependence on alcohol. The same can be said about telephone addiction, if one of the partners does not let go of the phone all evening. The opposite party will think more than once whether it is worth starting a relationship with a person who is addicted to something.
Olga Kuznetsova
A psychologist and linguist by training, he currently teaches languages. And looking for his soul mate.
I was once in a relationship with a wonderful man and was happy. And then everything collapsed. Not right away, of course, but more on that some other time. Of course, I was worried. And for quite a long time. And then I decided that it was time to create a new relationship. And about a month ago I registered on a dating site.
There was a time when I listened distantly to the endless unsuccessful attempts of my friends to “find something decent there.” They often complained that their first dates with “amazing men” ended up being their last. Therefore, when starting this stage, I tried to foresee, if not everything, then a lot. And to my surprise, everything went well every time!
1. Be real
Remember the advertisement? A girl comes on a date and accidentally hears a young man waiting for her say to someone on the phone: “No, I haven’t found it yet. After all, I’m looking for the real one!” The girl quickly changes her appearance, becomes “real” and makes a wonderful impression on the young man. Who would have thought that everything in life is exactly like this?
From personal experience
Every time I got ready for a meeting, I tried, let’s say, not to get ready. Already on the first date I realized how right I was! I was greeted by a man in a sweater and jeans, slightly immersed in work problems. I would look great if I came in an evening dress or a sexy blouse with a luxurious neckline!
This is surprising, but what I chose from my entire wardrobe was absolutely consistent with the place, time, my interlocutor, and most importantly -. Which significantly influenced the course of the entire meeting, because it allowed us to immediately be on the same page. After all, we both came in what we feel comfortable walking, sitting, and communicating in. And it was so natural! In general, I recommend it.
Although, perhaps, your favorite and most comfortable outfit is just a sexy blouse? Well then, go ahead!
But remember: “take me right now” style war paint and an erotic outfit are more suitable for searching for dubious adventures, rather than for your soulmate.
You may be asking: what about the advice that a woman should be attractive in the first place? Yes that's right. The question is: who do you want to attract?
Your potential husband will most likely be attracted to your femininity and inner beauty, which modern men notice very well at first sight. And attraction at the level of basic instinct will leave your relationship at this level and, most likely, forever.
2. Smile sincerely
Gioconda's smile will not suit us. Sometimes men fall into a strange stupor from such “female tricks” with a claim to the notorious mystery. A Hollywood smile with all 32 teeth won’t suit us either. Psychologists have long explained why.
The only requirement for your smile is that it must be sincere. You may ask, how can you smile at a stranger, and even sincerely? Just think about how sincere you are now! You are sincerely glad that you came to the meeting, and here he is, already waiting for you, and you are really happy to see him, aren’t you?
And I’ll tell you one more secret: there is nothing worse than a polite smile on the first date. Think for yourself, what can she say to your chosen one? Personally, I see something like this interpretation: “Well, it’s very nice, of course, that you came, but I’m so polite, and that’s why I smile at you so politely. I’m sure you already like me, because I’m so polite.”
From personal experience
To successfully use this technique, it is enough to create a special high mood within yourself, which I like to call “quiet delight.” Why quiet? And why delight? On the one hand, you do not gush with uncontrollable emotions, on the other hand, you do not exhaust your interlocutor with disturbing thoughts about your internal troubles. That is, we are looking for a middle ground.
If your delight is quiet, then it can be contained, but it is still there. It inevitably makes itself known from time to time and first of all breaks through in your smile. And your smile is truly joyful and sincere. Because at this moment you are letting your inner sun out.
A sincere smile disarms and puts you at ease in a special way. It creates a space of trust into which your interlocutor finds himself.
Using just this one technique, you will go most of the way towards each other in one date.
3. Keep it simple
Take things lightly. Experience shows that a person who is too fixated on the result has a sharply reduced chance of achieving it. It's inexplicable, but it's a fact. Although, perhaps, it’s all a matter of excessive tension. She doesn't decorate anyone. And our task is to present ourselves in such a way that a person wants to see you again. Or even more than once!
It is also important not to try to show only your best sides. This will allow you to see the different reactions of your potential partner and understand whether he will be able to cope with your small shortcomings in the future.
The surprising thing is that men also react positively to such openness. They also have something they want to hide, they are afraid of spoiling it. Realizing that you allow yourself not to be perfect, they themselves relax a little. And we remember that the main thing is to create an atmosphere of trust and comfort.
From personal experience
Basically, I tried to be the same as in life, to behave as usual, including allowing myself to be imperfect. And this gave us the opportunity to immediately get to a different level of communication than the standard shuffling around with mutual bows.
For example, when I was 15 minutes late, I simply apologized and explained the reason without wringing my hands. And then I was sincerely pleased at the calmness and loyalty of my interlocutor. And she was so happy that he noticed this joy. And she mentally gave herself a plus, seeing how he internally became more dignified from the feeling of his generosity. And then he told me that this happens to him too, and he completely relaxed. By the end of our conversation, we already knew that we were both imperfect. And if you look closely, it is this knowledge that creates a feeling of greater closeness.
Men love girls with whom you can breathe easily, with whom you don’t have to pretend to be anything, watch your every word, gesture, in other words, strain yourself. Don't stress men out on the first date. After all, if they find themselves searching, it means that someone before you has already stressed them out a lot!
4. Don't be afraid to ask
But ask about what is really important or interesting to you. Psychologists say that people love to talk about themselves. And it would be a sin not to take advantage of this! Seeing your genuine interest, the man perks up and becomes calmer.
Plus, while he speaks, you can look into his eyes for a long time, putting into him any feeling you want. Your look can be alluring, thoughtful, mysterious or playful, intriguing, with a sparkle! But the most important thing is that he must be open and friendly. For me personally, the last option was enough.
Also, it is on the first date that will prepare the ground for your future relationship. Don’t be afraid to discuss the purpose of meeting with your interlocutor, ask him what he expects from communication.
Tell us about yourself too. And here, talk not about what you expect from the person himself or from the relationship in general: “You must be (hereinafter a list of 48 items), and then I’ll marry you!” Talk about what attracts you to the prospect of continuing communication with him. If it's difficult to tell a potential partner about it, tell it to yourself. Let a clear picture form in your head. By the way, this will help you conduct the dialogue in the right direction.
From personal experience
Openness and mutual interest allowed us to talk enthusiastically throughout the meeting. Without forced pauses, awkward silence, without the need to think hard about what else to ask.
And for difficult cases there is one little secret, which I call the “loop-hook”. Let's say you asked a question and received a detailed answer. And you notice that your interlocutor is feverishly searching in the recesses of his own brain for what to ask you now. Help him out! Start talking about yourself, answering the same question you asked him. He will have time to silently admire you (personally, I always say smiling). And there will be time to figure out what to talk about later.
We really love it when others are interested in us, our lives, our thoughts. Bring this joy to your potential partner!
Especially if you see that your questions do not confuse him and do not make him want to hide somewhere. And at the same time, you can find out for yourself everything that seems important to you.
5. Believe in yourself
This rule should become an axiom for you. Self-love, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are the main components of your future success. And not just on the first date. These qualities form your inner core of a person who is sustainable in life. And they are the basis of your charisma and attractiveness. If you are the lucky owner of this magnificent combination, feel free to set a date. The date will be successful!
In conclusion, I would like to say: read articles, study trends, ask for advice, look for information. But first of all, listen to yourself! Your heart, your intuition will never let you down.
Be simple, real, sincere, ask, smile, believe in yourself!
Will it happen? Shall we analyze? So, let's begin . His behavior during your first date is very important. When you say something, he asks you questions. You unwittingly tell him about your childhood, your family and friends. He loves to give comments, he jokes and watches you carefully. He also talks about himself with pleasure and you don’t even have to ask him for anything.
If everything is completely different, your conversation is tense, and you take long pauses and feel uncomfortable, and he often glances at his watch or looks away all the time, then alas. And if he is in a hurry to an important meeting or urgently needs to go to work, then it is better to forget about him immediately, or, as they say, hope for the best, and still be prepared for the worst. There is another interesting point. You've probably heard something like, "Do you want anything else?" From men. They say this most often towards the end of your meeting. There is another phrase: "Let's stay here and chat for a while, okay?" They can say it in a lot of ways, but what do you think it means? I can assure you this is not the case. The first of them is simply so to speak, to honor the traditions of a polite person and is nothing more than a cliché, expressed, as a rule, indifferently. You, on your part, respond indifferently in turn.
As for the other thing, the situation is more interesting. If a man asks such a question, he is most likely hoping for a positive answer from you, which is a clear indication that he is interested in you and feels good with you, hoping for. If he didn't kiss you after the first or second date, or he just kissed you on the cheek, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Quite the opposite, he is serious about you, or maybe he is shy. But you, in turn, don’t be surprised for long. Just kiss him yourself if you want. It's not a problem, is it? He will even thank you for it.
You wonder whether he will call or not. If he didn't do it the next day, there's no reason to be upset. You shouldn't go to the toilet with your phone in your hand and keep it next to you when you sleep, or look at it expectantly all the time. Return to your daily life. If you can't answer the phone when he calls you, he will call you back anyway if he really needs to talk to you.
Mostly men call before they intend to spend with you. It also takes time to think things through, especially if you've made an impression on him.
I will even tell you more, if a man has serious intentions, he will not call you right away. And if you feel like he's really into you and you feel attracted to each other, you can call yourself or (even better) send him an SMS. If he doesn't respond to it within a few days, then it looks like there's no chance for you.
Just because he said, “See you later,” or promised to call you, doesn’t mean it will be the same as he said. He should say something like this when your first date is over. Don't get upset or blame yourself. Nor should you think that he was unable to see who you really were or pay attention to your merits during your first date. He saw what he wanted and he doesn't care about the rest. Do you really need such a person? Don't think. If he tells you “Goodbye!” , and he mentions the approximate date when he would like you to meet next, you can be proud of yourself. I can say that it will be either within the next week after the first meeting or right on the day that he noted.
So, you've already started dating and everything is fine. This is amazing. The further it goes, the more interesting it will be. To be continued…
