International marriages have become practically a national disaster: along with happy couples, there are a large number of women whose lives are broken. Very often, after a divorce, they lose their own children, whom the fathers keep with them and limit their communication with their mothers. The struggle for children for many mothers lasts for years and does not always end in reunification. The film explores why international marriages fail and how to build lasting relationships. Many people think that marrying a foreigner means ending up in a beautiful fairy tale. But often expectations do not coincide with reality. The heroines of the film talk about this.
Angelina Komarova exposes marriage scammers who operate via the Internet and siphon money from potential brides.
Lydia Kingscott's English husband left her the day after the wedding. Lydia, a girl from the small village of Roskoshnoye, waited for her husband for two years before she realized that he was not going to return to her.
Tatyana Zakharova linked fate with a Turkish citizen who lived and worked in Moscow. The couple has four children together. The father took three of them to his homeland and is not going to give them to their mother. Tatyana has been fighting for the right to raise her children for a year and a half.
Lyubov Rakhmatullaeva followed her husband to his homeland, Nigeria. The marriage produced a son. But Lyubov absolutely did not want to adapt to the customs and traditions of another country. After the divorce, she was unable to take the child and was separated from him for twenty years.
Svetlana Tarasova married a Cuban back in Soviet times. But life on Freedom Island turned out to be too harsh. Svetlana, her husband and little son, decided to return to the USSR. She and her child were able to leave, but her husband was not released. This happens in totalitarian states. After this, for twenty-five years Svetlana and her husband had no way to contact each other.
Of course, not all marriages with foreigners end sadly. There are other examples.
Irina Seiter completely assimilated in her husband’s homeland, Lebanon. She converted to Islam, wears traditional clothes, gave birth to six children and has no regrets.
Lola Elistratova-Charlier is married to a Frenchman. She sees the difference between French and Russian mentalities and skillfully balances between the two cultures. Lola organized an online community for Russian women living abroad.
In the film we learn how the problems in marriages with citizens of European, Asian and African countries differ from each other. What conflicts are most difficult for an international couple to overcome? What do the world think about Russian girls? Citizens of which countries do our compatriots prefer to marry? What is the secret to the longevity of an international marriage?
Do you want to marry a foreigner? Are you interested in which facts about foreign men are myths and which are reality?
Finding a life partner through the services of a marriage agency or matchmaker is becoming increasingly popular in Russia. And this is not surprising.
However, many myths still wander among Russian women regarding marriages with foreigners...
OUR GOAL -DISPLAY MYTHS ABOUT MARRIAGES WITH FOREIGNERSANDGIVE A REAL ASSESSMENT OF THE SITUATION!
So let's get started:
MYTH No. 1 “Foreigners, especially the Germans and the British, are very pragmatic...”
Frankly speaking, this is not a very correct formulation! It would be more correct to say that neither Americans nor Europeans simply live with dreams and fantasies that cannot be realized. They do not exaggerate their capabilities and at the same time know exactly what they want from life and clearly follow their intended goal.
You've probably noticed that the facial expressions of foreigners are different from ours. There is some kind of openness in them, there is no tension. This is because they live in harmony with the world around them, where there are no constant minor or major failures, where you don’t expect troubles and tricks from the outside. At the same time, their standard of living, social protection and stability make them incorrigible optimists. What could a man miss in such a wonderful environment? Only a loving woman nearby. That’s why foreigners turn to marriage agencies to share their happiness with the woman they love.
A refutation of their stinginess is also the fact that they pay quite impressive sums for the services of marriage agencies.
MYTH No. 2 “European and American men are less emotional and frank than Russians, they have a different mentality. This is an insurmountable obstacle to mutual understanding..."
An absolute myth! The level of emotionality, of course, depends to some extent on the territorial location: northern nations, like the Slavs, are more closed by nature and do not express their emotions so clearly, southern nations, on the contrary, are temperamental. If you look at situations more globally, it will become clear that all people on earth experience absolutely the same emotions in similar situations: they grieve over the loss of a loved one, rejoice at a gift, lose their heads with love.
The difference in mentalities manifests itself rather in social and everyday issues. Along with this, generally accepted standards of behavior and morality, as well as the laws now adopted throughout the world, are the same for everyone, no matter where we are on the globe. This means that men from Europe, America or Canada, just like you, dear girls, crave romance and beautiful love in relationships.
Europe is also interesting because each of more than 50 countries has its own cultural traditions and distinctive features; therefore, European men are very different from each other not only in appearance, but also in their attitude to life and manner of communication. The Germans, for example, are educated, well-mannered and have a good sense of humor. If a German falls in love, he is capable of much. French men have a certain charm, most of them are educated, know how to cook well, and understand wines. Italians are expressive; they are distinguished by their manner of speaking loudly and at the same time gesticulating. Their desire for experiments and everything new will not make their companion bored.
You can also tell a lot of interesting things about America. Firstly, this is a country of different nations. Nowhere in the world is there such a mixture of peoples as in America. Secondly, in America, every work is honorable, regardless of whether a person works as a middle manager, a cashier, or has managed to organize his own business. The main features that characterize American men are openness, curiosity and the desire to comprehend everything.
Australians are close to us in mentality. 
MYTH No. 3 “Among Americans, many men are overweight...”
If we talk about low-income segments of the population, then yes. If we are talking about prosperous Americans - no! After all, they usually lead an active lifestyle: they travel and enjoy various sports.
MYTH No. 4 “Foreign grooms can place in their portfolio a photograph from 10 years ago, where they look younger and slimmer, thus misleading potential brides...”
This is possible if acquaintance occurs on social networks.
IN serious marriage agency, which is what it is , such a situation cannot arise! After all, our client base contains only interesting, serious people for whom “marriage” is not just empty words. Moreover, we work only with reliable foreign partners - successful marriage agencies with many years of experience, providing solid security guarantees, truthful And current information about the client.
MYTH No. 5 “A large percentage of marriages with foreigners end in sexual slavery...”
Only those women who risk making acquaintances through little-known Internet dating sites with a dubious reputation are not immune from such sad moments.
The civilized world has long switched to professional search, which we mentioned at the very beginning of the article. Moreover, in Europe and America, marriage agencies charge quite a substantial fee for their services - about 1.5 to 4 thousand euros, in turn, guaranteeing clients comfort and safety, insuring them against fraud.
The fact is that in European countries, for example, it is easy to register a marriage, but very difficult to dissolve it. Moreover, after a divorce, a man can lose a significant part of his capital, and it may take more than one year to restore it. Therefore, Europeans try not to get married early, but to do it with the understanding that once married, he will live with his wife all his life. Accordingly, if a European offers you his hand and heart, he does it with full responsibility, understanding and accepting all the responsibilities that fall on him in marriage.
MYTH No. 6 “It’s difficult for a girl over 30 with a child to find a decent match abroad and arrange her personal life...”
An absolute myth! And in Europe, and in, and in Israel, if a man marries a woman who has a child, then he bears the same responsibility for him as for his own children. Therefore, a situation where a woman, having already had a child, gets married and then gives birth to more children in the marriage is not uncommon abroad. At the same time, despite the difference in methods of education in different countries, the common thing is that a man does not separate his and other people’s children. Everyone receives equal love, attention, nurturing and education. That is, children do not become a burden for parents, as often happens in Russia.
Let's say more: family in many countries is the main value in life. And everything a man does, he does for the family. Equality and mutual understanding are what marriages are built on here.
For example, for a European, loving, respecting and appreciating a woman is the norm of life. Discussing and solving problems together, planning the family budget and the next vacation, remaining a faithful lover for your wife until old age is normal, this is something that is instilled from childhood, this is one of the components of the European mentality. That is, Europeans approach creating a family with great responsibility. A man will propose to a woman to marry him only if he has a high-quality material base. He must be sure that he can support not only his wife, but also future children.
MYTH No. 7 “Many foreign grooms prefer Slavic (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus) wives, because they believe that Russian women are more unpretentious and undemanding...”
Let's just say: this is not a completely correct formulation! Rather, they are attracted by the femininity of our women, their family orientation, and also the fact that it is not necessary to compete with them for the palm, since for most Slavic beauties, due to our mentality, it is the norm that the man is the main one in the family. Russian women before They are still essentially “keepers of the family hearth”; they are wonderful mothers, wonderful housewives and loving wives.
In Western countries, the words feminism and emancipation are not empty words. A plain European woman does not need to keep herself in shape, be attractive, gentle, loving, caring, or try to please. She will already choose the husband she wants, because in Europe there are fewer women than men. But a man must take care of himself, try, be able to do a lot, earn good money in order to provide the necessary standard of living for his other half. Who do European men resemble? Of course, Russian women, because they are in the same position with us. For a European, just like for a Russian woman, family is the main value.
From all of the above, the answer to the question: Why are foreign men increasingly attracted to beautiful, but lonely Russian women? - becomes obvious. Despite their different mentality, culture, upbringing and traditions, a Russian woman and a European man are very similar - we have the same attitude towards life, towards family, towards a loved one. And when people have common life values, their union is strong, reliable and durable.
ON A NOTE:
If you have entered into an agreement with an International Marriage Agency, then it is important to understand several important truths:
- If a marriage agency is truly professional and approaches its work responsibly, then such a company will definitely have a psychologist and even an astrologer on its staff. Therefore, they will not only select a man who suits your needs, but will take care of the psychological compatibility of the partners, and will minimize the possibility of discrepancies in any parameters.
- Dating is a delicate, intimate process, therefore, the marriage agency concludes a contract with you for at least a year - the optimal time for searching for candidates, meeting, recognizing, communicating, etc. You need to understand that such issues cannot be resolved quickly, for example, in 2-3 months.
- The range of your possibilities expands, that is, the chances of meeting your soulmate increase many times over.
- If the acquaintance took place, the correspondence gradually developed into meetings, and those, in turn, ended with a marriage proposal, there is no need to rush. It is important to check your feelings, weigh the pros and cons, understand whether you are ready to spend your whole life with your future husband, whether you can adapt to a new country, confirm your education, and find something you like.
- If you have received an invitation or a fiancé visa, do not worry that when you find yourself in a foreign country for the first time, you may unknowingly or mistakenly find yourself in an awkward position. An international marriage agency must represent you as a curator who will be happy to provide you with help and support.
- If you have made a decision and plan to marry a foreigner and go abroad, then you must understand that it is very important for a man that you constantly grow and develop with him. He will be pleased to see your desire to learn the language as soon as possible and comprehend the laws of the country in which she plans to live.
Dear girls and women! We hope that we were able to dispel the above myths, which our clients so often talk about! If you still have any doubts about marriage with a foreigner, send them, we will be happy to answer all your questions! Be happy!
Getting married, having a child and living until old age with one man is the dream of every woman.
Marrying a foreigner no longer seems unrealistic, and thoughts of “how to find a husband” or “how to persuade your loved one to propose” are quite natural, especially if a woman is already over 30 years old and has not yet been in a serious relationship.
Marry a foreigner: why choose men from afar
In fact, there are both good and bad candidates for husbands anywhere in the world. If, after an infinite number of disappointments in your personal life, you decide to try your luck abroad, dispel your bright dreams in advance - a foreign man is no different from other men, if only in language and demeanor.
Character, habits, lifestyle, traditions - all this leaves a certain imprint on your character and can affect your life. When flying to another country, think about the fact that you will have to adapt to other people’s laws, honor other people’s traditions, and break yourself against your wishes.
Your “I” and sense of dignity may suffer for one simple reason - if you find yourself far from your home, you will lose support and self-confidence: like a bird caught in a cage, you will adapt to other people’s rules, and the chosen one abroad will know how to no one else.
Undoubtedly, the feeling of falling in love makes you turn a blind eye to many things; it seems that a man is ideal and has no flaws. But how do you know what will happen there when the wave of passion subsides and the period of getting used to each other begins?
It was believed that to marry a foreigner means to gain reliability, stable income, the opportunity to travel whenever you want, and simply to live carefree, without thinking about earning money.
Why think about money if they will provide for you, fulfill your every whim at the click of a finger and sprinkle you with rose petals? In reality, everything is a little different.
Marrying a Foreigner: Pitfalls
Having flown to your loved one on the wings of love, and being impressed by new beauties, you will not immediately notice the pitfalls, but they are there, and they come to the surface when you are not expecting any surprises.
The first disadvantage in foreign relations is poor knowledge of the language, which means partial misunderstanding of each other. It's good if there are no problems with this.
At first, everything seems ideal, and you can understand your beloved spouse or boyfriend instantly, and only then it turns out that you are a narrow-minded, stupid woman who cannot understand basic things that even a child can understand.
There is an opinion that foreigners deliberately marry Russian women - the girls are submissive, do not demand to get a star from the sky, and disappear every day in the kitchen, trying to please their loved one (housekeepers abroad are not cheap, and their own free one is a gift from heaven).
It’s not a sin to take out your anger on such a slave or let off steam after a hard day at work - she will endure everything and understand everything. Do you need this - after all, Russia is full of domestic tyrants and losers. Why exchange an awl for soap?
Abroad, morals are very free - drugs, alcohol, relationships without obligations are not considered prohibited. An easy-going man who loves extreme sports is not a reason for joy; it is quite possible that his addictions will bring a lot of trouble in the future.
Marrying a foreigner is a risky business, because first of all, he is sure that you are fleeing your country out of hopelessness and despair. A man will consider himself a benefactor king who saved you from poverty and death (although it is not a fact that he himself has money; many foreigners eke out a miserable existence, eating on discount coupons).
You will always and everywhere be obliged to something. Naturally, this does not apply to all foreign men, but to some. But where is the confidence that you will not run into a calculating tyrant?
Why is marriage abroad dangerous?
Do not rush to say the cherished “yes”. First, ask where your future husband works and where he lives. Are there any debts or arrests, perhaps a mortgage has been issued.
Don’t be shy and ask about everything in detail - after all, if you get married, half of the debts will fall on you. There are known cases when skilled swindlers entered into marriages and then dissolved them, shifting part of the responsibility to their ex-wife.
Yes, you can get part of the property, but in what condition will it be? Beautiful words about fabulous wealth, a photo of a cottage and an expensive foreign car, sent over the Internet, can be a “dummy”, a beautiful fairy tale invented for naive women dreaming of cloudless happiness.
Another foreign privilege is that if a man starts a family but is unemployed, the state will allocate budget funds that will significantly exceed unemployment benefits. Not a bad move, isn't it?
It is worth noting that in some countries (Turkey), during a divorce, the child remains with the father, and in the east a Russian woman will be forced to change her faith.
They will not dare take your child away if you are an exemplary mother and have not broken the law. The fact that you are from another country does not give privileges to your spouse (but again, there are some nuances in eastern countries).
Religious orientation alone can ruin a relationship, and conflict can lead to a high-profile divorce. Don’t think that once you get stronger and take root in a foreign land, you will become “one of our own.” Even after ten or twenty years, people around you will consider you a foreigner.
Traditions of other countries
A generous soul, openness, good nature - all this can become a reason for conflict. What is accepted in one place is unacceptable in another.
Generosity and naivety can be mistaken for stupidity and poor upbringing. A man may be offended by a situation that seems like a mere trifle.
Don’t rush headlong into the pool: if you want to marry a foreigner, find out about the country’s traditions, don’t be deceived by feigned shyness and integrity - in a foreign place it’s not customary to interfere with your own rules.
If, despite all the possible problems, you are ready to take a risk, then before changing your place of residence, take care of the compensation: under no circumstances sell your home, do not transfer it to your future newly-made spouse.
Before you move, chat in person for a while, first on Skype or via messages, then let the man come to visit you (this way he will show that he can spend money on a round-trip ticket).
Learn English, otherwise it will be very difficult to adapt.
Where to meet
How to marry a foreigner? Tips and Tools
Many women from the CIS are wondering what needs to be done to marry a foreigner.
They are confident that foreigners are “higher quality” men, more adequate and generally better to deal with than CIS men.
To some extent, they are right, and in any case you have the right to look for those men who you really like.
Marriage with a foreigner: why and why?
In general, according to women who married Europeans, there are normal and abnormal men everywhere.
How to start a serious relationship with a foreigner? Main tool: website
I will tell you one of the tools - a dating site. There are a lot of foreigners on such sites.
Where can you register:
- On Russian-language sites that position themselves as dating foreigners. You can indicate your city or the capital of your country (where there is a greater flow of men);
- You can contact different agencies, which I do not recommend doing;
- On foreign dating sites;
If you can do this, your happy marriage is practically guaranteed!
To successfully meet foreigners through a website, your main task is to understand the psychology of their thinking. They are less spoiled by women.
What exactly do you need to do to marry a foreigner through a dating site?
External factor
If you are meeting foreigners for marriage, pay attention, first, to your appearance. It is not necessary to be sexy - it is more important to position yourself as femininity, softness, as well-groomed, but not necessarily sexy.
Psychological factor
The next point that you need to understand is what these men lack, why they are looking for a woman not in their own country.
In Thailand, I saw a lot of Europeans, a lot of Englishmen, Americans, who communicate with Thai women. Why is that?
Why don’t they communicate with their, for example, American women?
Because Thai women give them something that local women don't.
How can women attract foreigners?
Look, people are coming to the Thais from all over the world. Why? Everything is simpler than you think. They are able:
- recognize men as men;
- agree;
- to compliment;
- thank.
That is, they know how to create a state of masculinity in a man. Foreigners are looking for this not only in Thailand...
And if on a dating site you, as a woman, give a man this condition, then the likelihood greatly increases that he will want to create a relationship with you - and a happy relationship, and that all this will result in marriage.
What not to do if you want to marry a foreigner
Of course, you can manipulate, of course, you can play games, but you must understand that any manipulation, any games - not answering messages quickly, not picking up the phone, talking rudely, arguing - in the long run it all ends... not very good .
If you want not just dating with foreigners, but a happy relationship, first of all, deal with these questions:
- Why are they looking at our women?
- What do they need from our women that local women do not give them?
Answer for yourself and try to give it while being yourself.
These are not complex things - they are simple, and you can understand and study them in more detail if you invest in your female development.
With faith in you and your happiness,
relationship psychology expert Yaroslav Samoilov.
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