We often expect that family happiness will come with the purchase of an apartment, a car, a new good job or additional education. No. We must be happy now and with what we have.
2. Be grateful and talk about it to your loved one.
Generates happiness. Find reasons for gratitude even in the most ordinary things. And most importantly, don't forget to express it. That magic word "thank you" actually works wonders and should be used more often in marriage. “Thank you for what you are doing for me”, “Thank you for fixing the faucet”, “Thank you for being so cute”, “Thank you for a delicious dinner” - look for reasons to thank, and you will find them.
3. Trust each other
A jealousy marriage won't last long. Trust your spouse and do not give reasons not to trust you.
4. Avoid quarrels
Quarrels over little things are the biggest pitfall of a marriage. Feel the approach of a quarrel - cool down: take a walk, take a shower, take a break. When the emotions subside a little, you can talk calmly.
5. Show your love physically.
Touch each other, hug, hold hands. Healthy sexual relationships are very important, but you shouldn't focus on them alone. Any abuse does not lead to good. It destroys romantic love and the natural beauty of intimacy in marriage.
6. Be honest when it comes to finances
Family happiness is impossible if there is misunderstanding, especially when it comes to money.
7. Surprise each other
Do something unexpected: leave a note in your pants pocket; give a flower when you meet her from work; make a small gift; arrange an unexpected romantic dinner or send SMS with a declaration of love.
8. Compliment each other.
Tell us how you like the smile, character, voice, eyes, hair of a loved one. That you value him as a wonderful parent for your child or as a professional at work. Your loved one should know that you admire him.
9. Support each other
Support each other in personal and professional projects, during days of illness, sadness or weakness. Help. A marriage is like a long journey in a fragile boat: if one passenger starts rocking it, the other must keep it afloat, otherwise both will drown.
10. Move in one direction
Happiness in marriage is possible only if the spouses have the same outlook on life, similar values and interests, behavior and goals.
11. Remain who you were when you met
At the beginning of a relationship, we are all amazing, attractive and do thousands of things to show our partner our best qualities. After a while, an understanding comes of what kind of person is actually next to us, what his shortcomings are, how he behaves in various situations. It is natural for a mature relationship to develop into marriage.
But after the wedding, some calm down and do not consider it necessary to try to please their loved one. Suddenly they feel like they can look unkempt, rude and grumpy most of the time. Of course, it is difficult to keep the body and face the same as in youth: age and gravity are merciless. However, there is much that can be done to stay in good physical, moral and emotional health. A good marriage is a perpetual motion.
12. Have a conversation
Conversation solves problems.
13. Forget selfishness
Caring for your partner's well-being is one of the most important things in achieving family happiness. Put selfishness aside and try to take care of your partner the same way you care for yourself.
14. Be faithful in thought, word and action.
Happiness is a subtle matter. How often marriages fell apart due to the fact that one of the spouses fell in love with someone and could not get it out of my head. And in the end it ended with a serious mistake. If you sense danger, run away from temptation.
There are always three fooled people in treason.
Carlos Drummond de Andrade (Aeroporto Carlos Drummond de Andrade), poet
15. Ask forgiveness and goodbye
We are all imperfect. If you make a mistake, do not waste time; as soon as possible, sincerely ask for forgiveness. And when a loved one hurts your feelings - forgive him. For both spouses to have a fulfilling life, it is important to be able to ask for forgiveness and forgive.
In other words, the main secret of a happy marriage is doing good, being wise in words, actions and thoughts. Treat your partner the way you want him to treat you. And if you want to understand how a word or decision will affect your marriage, imagine yourself in the place of your partner, and you will understand how to act.
- How to become happy in love? .. - How to become happy in marriage? .. - How to become a happy wife? .. - Are there any Secrets of Happy Women? .. Many women are looking for answers to these and other similar questions every day.
Maybe there will be those who will say: "There are no special secrets, my husband was lucky - that's the whole secret!"
Long-term observations allow the author to assert that Secrets of Happy Women exist, and happiness in love and in the family is not a gift from heaven, but a daily job. This work is based on a deep understanding of the psychology of human relations. It is this understanding of psychology (often intuitive) that makes a woman Happy.
This article explains, step by step, the main Secrets of Happy Women
... Our readers will not only learn these secrets, but also understand how to apply them in their lives.
So what are these secrets?
The first and most important secret
, which underlies all other secrets: true happiness is born from within. True happiness cannot be found in the outside world or received from a parent, a loved one, or even from your own child. Perhaps the most important thing in life is to find yourself in the Universe, to find true happiness within yourself and to understand that this happiness depends on no one and does not depend on anything.
A Happy Woman is always filled with Love and Self-respect, even alone. She feels happiness and gratitude for this happiness regardless of life circumstances, regardless of the beloved man and children.
This is the ideal state of mind - a state.This state can be achieved through meditation, you can attend professional psychological training, or you can engage in psychological training yourself. you can usepublished on the site, or others.
If you learn to achieve this state and keep it, fear and anxiety will go away and inner strength, external attractiveness, freedom of choice and new opportunities in relationships, work and life will come. It is important to learn to be happy by itself, then you can be happy with someone else (with your husband, with a child), you can reach any heights in your career or in business, you can get all the best in all areas of life.
A happy woman is able to be self-sufficient and happy on her own. This does not mean that you need to give up love. At the same time, you need to believe in love and know that you deserve to be happy in love.
Use the law of attraction: "like attracts like" A woman who feels unattractive and unworthy of love and happiness attracts unworthy people and unpleasant situations that confirm this position in life. A woman, who possesses inner harmony and believes in love and in her own happiness, is attractive to men with a higher level of intellectual and spiritual development, who treat her well.
Second secret lies in the fact that a woman should know what kind of man she needs, what qualities she wants to see in a man. It is unrealistic to meet an ideal man, but you can and should try to meet a real man with ideal qualities for yourself.
You need to be absolutely clear about what you want, from your appearance, intelligence level and biceps size, to your relationship with him, the number of children and the level of income. Why is it so important?
You don't think that by getting married you will be able to remake a man! Or do you think? Relax - it's impossible!
Many women, especially at a young age, naively believe that the main thing is to get married, and then you can “sculpt from what was”.
Only those women become happy who understand that, firstly, a person can only “mold” and “remake” himself, and secondly, it is necessary that there be something from which to “mold”. For example, a successful entrepreneur or a highly paid specialist can eventually grow out of a student who tries to earn his own living (to earn money, not to extract it illegally)! And it is almost unbelievable that such a metamorphosis would have happened to a guy who, at 25, is still "sitting on the neck" of his parents and spends their money on his own pleasures. A man who is more family-oriented than business-oriented will be a wonderful husband and father, but he is not likely to become a very wealthy person. A business-oriented man will provide you with material benefits, but will completely entrust you with raising children and all household chores. And if a man is more inclined to risk than to stability, then in the future family life, frequent periods of financial crisis are possible.
Therefore, it is better to imagine in detail the image of your ideal partner and make a detailed list of qualities that you want to see in your future partner, which you are ready to put up with, and which are categorically unacceptable for you. And then think if such a man is right for you, can you interact harmoniously? Or some qualities need to be revised?
Having decided on the necessary qualities, imagine life with your ideal partner every day for at least a few minutes, as if you already have a loved one. Feel that this relationship already exists. Accept this relationship, feel your mutual love and happiness.
With this attitude, a worthy man will certainly appear in your life soon! And then take the trouble to get to know him well before you allow yourself to seriously fall in love with him and marry him! If you do not know the person you are marrying well, disappointments and conflicts are inevitable.
Third secret - you need to be seriously interested in the Man you liked, to be able to listen to him, understand and share his vital interests and hobbies.
It is very important for men that a woman listens to them with interest! An interested woman looks very attractive and seductive, she wants to be conquered! And many men want a woman to be an interesting interlocutor, to be able not only to listen, but also to beautifully and competently express her thoughts.
It is very important to feel the measure of both, and to feel what your ability is now necessary for a man: the ability to listen or the ability to speak. This ability to feel the mood of a man is especially useful in family life, so married women should work on its development. And the ability to speak beautifully will help to find mutual understanding not only in family life, but also with colleagues in a professional environment and with a variety of people in the social sphere.
The basis of mutual understanding between a man and a woman is common interests, not just mutual physical attractiveness. For example, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie pay great attention to raising children, both are engaged in spiritual practices and charity, they are united by a common profession and a passion for piloting an airplane, and probably something else that we can only guess about.
Therefore, if you like a man and correspond to your ideas about the ideal partner for you, then for the harmonious development of your relationship you just need to seriously get carried away by his interests and captivate him with your own, in the end you can get carried away with something new together!
The fourth secret is that Happy Women are always ready to meet the Man of their dreams.
If you don't want to miss the fateful meeting, get ready for it!
This secret should be used even if the man of your dreams has long been your husband.
To interest the ideal man, whose image you have created, you need to become an extraordinary woman herself. Engage in your development and personal growth, create a new image of yourself: remember everything that you dreamed of doing in life (do yoga or kung fu, learn public speaking or modern dance, learn English or learn interior design) and go for it!
Your hairstyle, face and body should always be well-groomed, your clothes and shoes - beautiful and neat, your house - clean and comfortable.
And, of course, give the man the opportunity to appear in your life - do not sit at home, meet people, communicate and have fun.
At the same time, you should not enter into a serious relationship with a man if he does not have those qualities that are important to you, or there are traits that are unacceptable to you. There is no need to spoil life for yourself and for him. Be grateful to fate for this meeting and move on. Be free to meet the Man of your dreams!
And rest assured, the Universe loves you and is preparing this meeting for you!
Fifth secret - sincere admiration for the beloved Man.
To keep love, a Woman must believe and know that this Man is the best in the world for her. Each person has a lot of positive qualities. When you fell in love with your husband and married him, you found so much good in him! And over time, they began to take everything for granted.
Read carefully the following words of Angelina Jolie:
"Inowhere I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he is with me. I don't know if I'm good enough.But if I make him happy, then that's all I want to be. ".
Just think, one of the most beautiful women in the world, one of the most popular actresses of our time, UN ambassador, smart, strong, .. and all she wants to be is to make him happy!
Of course I do believe that Brad Pitt is really “so amazing”, there is no doubt about it. But only the secret of happiness is not to meet an amazing man, but to continue to consider him amazing after a year, and after 10 and after 20 years of marriage!
How can this attitude be maintained? Pay more attention to your husband's good deeds, to his positive qualities. Sincerely admire his intelligence, strength, kindness, diligence, caring for children, ability to help in difficult times - but you never know what else a beloved man can admire! This helps to keep in the soul a feeling of love for your Chosen One for many years of life together.
If a Man knows that he is the best in the world for his Woman, then he no longer needs to assert himself before her. Then he directs all his energy to assert himself at work, in science, in business, etc. And when a Man sees love and admiration in the eyes of his beloved Woman, it inspires him to not just be amazing. If She thinks he's awesome, He can move mountains.
Sixth secret - do not restrict the freedom of Men. A man in love needs freedom, otherwise love leaves. A man should know that he is with you, because He wants now to be with you, and because it is His free choice.
In general family matters, there must be issues that are decided by a man. For example, when buying a car, you say your wishes for its functionality (for example, for me it is automatic transmission, steering wheel on the left, climate control, heated seats), and He chooses the make and model and buys the best car that you can afford. Myself.
Believe me, He will do the best without your participation, valuable guidance and vigilant control! Trust his opinion. Do not allow yourself to interfere with your husband's decisions, criticize them, or question the correctness of his decisions. Let yourself be weak. Let him be strong.
At the same time, there should be questions in which the final decision is yours (for example, the color of the car, the color of the wallpaper in the bedroom, the kindergarten for the child). And there must certainly be an area in which only a decision that you make unanimously comes into effect (for example, what name to give a newborn baby, to build a house made of wood or brick, where to spend a vacation, what furniture to choose for the living room, or what to spend general savings on).
Often married couples imperceptibly lose the harmony that was at the very beginning of their marital relationship. As a rule, a woman puts a lot of energy into family relationships and expects from a man, if not gratitude and tenderness, then at least approval. By virtue of our ideas about what a man should do, how to behave, we form a certain model of behavior for our husband. And the man feels it and perceives it as an attempt to control him.
Do you think a normal man will allow a woman, even the most beloved, to control herself? No matter how it is! At best, he will let her think ... that she is in control of him.
Unfulfilled expectations give rise to resentment, irritation, disappointment, claims, quarrels. Can such an attitude cause a positive reaction from the husband? The answer is obvious.
A happy woman, noticing that she expects a certain attitude or action from her husband, says to herself: “Stop! He is a free man and is not obliged! .. to fulfill my expectations. He will do as he sees fit. This is His right. It's his choice". And then almost any option for a man's behavior is perceived calmly, because free people usually choose the best options out of all possible.
A happy Woman does not hold, does not direct, does not try to control a Man, but always recognizes his right to choose.
If you do the same, then having got rid of vain expectations, you will stop psychologically putting pressure on the man and free both him and yourself.
And when he does something pleasant for you, it will not be a fulfillment of a duty, but a manifestation of His love for you.
Seventh secret - to combine incompatible qualities, to be different and always new.
The variety of images and versatility of character is a real magic that is subject to women and fascinates men.
A woman can be familiar and unknown, versatile and always delightful, modest and sexy, serious and cheerful, brave and timid, impudent and patient.
She is able to dissolve in a loved one, be his half and at the same time remain herself, live by his interests and at the same time be interesting for him.
It is natural for a Woman to be weak and help in difficult times.
She manages to always look great and be a thrifty housewife.
She manages not to part with her beloved for a long time and find time for solitude.
This is the only way to maintain harmony in the family.
You, too, can do all this, because you are a Woman ...
So now you know that Happy Women Secrets are not some gimmicks or gimmicks. This is wisdom and correct behavior based on knowledge of the psychology of human relationships.
Now you know how to be happy in love and in marriage:
1. Find true happiness within yourself and understand that this happiness is from no one, and does not depend on anything. Achieve the state of "harmony with the Universe". Believe in love and know that you deserve to be happy in love and in marriage.
2. Imagine the image of your ideal partner and make a detailed list of the qualities that you want to see in your future partner. Imagine life with your ideal partner every day for at least a few minutes. Accept this relationship as if it already exists.
3. Take an interest in the Man you liked, be able to listen to him, understand and share his vital interests and hobbies.
4. Prepare for a meeting with the Man of your dreams. Engage in your own development, personal growth. Be free to meet the Man of your dreams!
5. Sincerely admire your beloved Man.
6. Do not restrict the freedom of Men. Recognize his right to choose.
7. Combine incompatible qualities, be different and always new.
Of course, there are many difficult situations in the life of Happy Women. But, they overcome difficulties with honor, and the more valuable is their experience of achieving happiness.
I hope these Secrets will help you achieve what you want and survive all adversity, maintaining harmony, love and happiness.
I invite all readers to discuss and comment on this article. Your opinion is very important to the author!
Marriage is all about joy. It is understood that married life is the happiest, complete, purest, richest life. This is the Lord's ordinance of perfection. The divine purpose, therefore, is that marriage should bring happiness, that it would make the life of both husband and wife more complete, so that neither of them would lose, but both would win. If, nevertheless, marriage does not become happiness and does not make life richer and fuller, then the fault is not in the marriage bonds themselves; guilt in the people who are connected by them.
Marriage is a divine ceremony. He was part of God's plan when He created man. This is the closest and most sacred bond on earth.
After marriage, the first and foremost responsibilities of a husband are towards his wife, and that of a wife is towards her husband. The two of them must live for each other, give their lives for each other. Before, everyone was imperfect. Marriage is the union of two halves into a single whole. Two lives are tied together in such a close union that they are no longer two lives, but one. Each one bears the sacred responsibility for the happiness and supreme good of the other for the rest of his life.
The wedding day must always be remembered and distinguished among other important dates of life. This is the day whose light will illuminate all other days until the end of life. The joy of getting married is not stormy, but deep and calm. Above the wedding altar, when the hands are joined and the holy vows are pronounced, the angels bow and quietly sing their songs, and then they overshadow the happy couple with their wings when their joint life begins. Through the fault of those who are married, one or both, married life can be a misfortune. The possibility of being happy in marriage is very great, but we must not forget about the possibility of its collapse. Only the right and wise life in marriage will help to achieve the ideal matrimonial relationship.
The first lesson to learn and practice is patience. At the beginning of family life, both the virtues of character and disposition are revealed, as well as the shortcomings and characteristics of habits, taste, temperament, which the other half did not even suspect. Sometimes it seems that it is impossible to get used to each other, that there will be eternal and hopeless conflicts, but patience and love overcome everything, and two lives merge into one, more noble, strong, full, rich, and this life will continue in peace and tranquility.
The duty of the family is selfless love. Everyone should forget his "I", devoting himself to another. Everyone should blame themselves, not the other, when something goes wrong. It takes endurance and patience, but impatience can ruin everything. A harsh word can slow the merging of souls for months. There should be a desire on both sides to make the marriage happy and overcome everything that hinders it. The strongest love most of all needs its daily strengthening. Most of all, rudeness is unforgivable in our own home, in relation to those whom we love.
Another secret of happiness in family life is attention to each other. Husband and wife should constantly show each other signs of the most tender attention and love. The happiness of life is made up of individual minutes, of small, quickly forgotten pleasures from a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment and countless small but kind thoughts and sincere feelings. Love also needs its daily bread.
Another important element in family life is the unity of interests. Nothing of a wife's concerns should seem too small, even for the gigantic intellect of the greatest of husbands. On the other hand, every wise and faithful wife will readily take an interest in the affairs of her husband. She will want to know about each of his new projects, plans, difficulties, doubts. She will want to know which of his endeavors has succeeded and which has not, and to be aware of all his daily affairs. May both hearts share both joy and suffering. Let them split the burden of worries in half. Let everything in life be common to them. They should go to church together, pray side by side, together bring to the feet of God the burden of caring for their children and all that is dear to them. Why don't they talk to each other about their temptations, doubts, secret desires and help each other with sympathy, words of encouragement. So they will live one life, not two. Each in his plans and hopes must necessarily think about the other. There should be no secrets from each other. They should only have friends in common. Thus, two lives will merge into one life, and they will share thoughts, desires, feelings, joy, sorrow, pleasure, and pain of each other.
Fear the slightest beginning of misunderstanding or alienation. Instead of holding back, a stupid, careless word is pronounced - and now a small crack has appeared between the two hearts, which had previously been one whole, it widens and widens until they are forever torn off from each other. Did you say something in a hurry? Ask for forgiveness immediately. Do you have any misunderstanding? It doesn't matter whose fault it is, don't let him stay between you for an hour. Refrain from quarreling. Don't go to bed with anger in your soul. There should be no place for pride in family life. You should never indulge your sense of offended pride and scrupulously calculate who exactly should ask for forgiveness. Truly lovers do not engage in such casuistry, they are always ready to give in and apologize.
Without the blessing of God, without the consecration of marriage by Him, all congratulations and good wishes of friends will be an empty phrase. Without His daily blessing of family life, even the most tender and true love will not be able to give everything a thirsty heart needs. Without the blessing of Heaven, all the beauty, joy, value of family life can be destroyed at any moment.
Each family member should take part in the arrangement of the house, and the fullest family happiness can be achieved when everyone honestly fulfills their duties.
One word covers everything - that is the word "love". In the word "love" there is a whole volume of thoughts about life and duty, and when we carefully and carefully study it, each of them comes out clearly and distinctly.
When the beauty of the face fades, the shine of the eyes fades, and with old age wrinkles come or leave their marks and scars of illness, grief, worries, the love of a faithful husband should remain as deep and sincere as before. There are no standards on earth that can measure the depth of Christ's love for His Church, and no mortal can love with the same depth, but still every husband is obliged to do this to the extent that this love can be repeated on earth. No sacrifice will seem too great to him for the sake of his beloved.
There is something sacred and almost awe-inspiring about the fact that a wife, when she marries, focuses all her interests on whoever she takes as her husband. She leaves the house of her childhood, mother and father, breaks all the threads that connect her with her past life. She leaves those entertainments to which she used to be accustomed. She looks into the face of the one who asked her to become his wife, and with a trembling heart, but also with calm confidence, she entrusts her life to him. And the husband is happy to feel this trust. This is for life the happiness of a human heart, capable of both unspeakable joy and immeasurable suffering.
The wife in the full sense of the word gives everything to her husband. For any man, this is a solemn moment - to accept responsibility for a young, fragile, tender life that has trusted him, and cherish it, protect, protect, until he snatches his treasure from his hands or hits him.
In love, special delicacy is needed. You can be sincere and loyal, and yet, in your speech and actions, you may lack the tenderness that so conquers hearts. Here's a tip: don't show bad moods and hurt feelings, don't speak with anger, or act badly. No woman in the world will be so worried about harsh or rash words that flew from your lips as your own wife. And most of all in the world, be afraid to upset her. Love does not give the right to behave rudely towards the one you love. The closer the relationship, the harder it hurts the heart from a look, tone, gesture or words that speak of irritability or are simply thoughtless.
Every wife should know that when she is at a loss or difficulty, in her husband's love she will always find a safe and quiet home. She should know that he will understand her, treat her very delicately, use force to protect her. She should never doubt that in all her difficulties, he will sympathize with her. She must never be afraid to meet coldness or reproach when she comes to him to seek protection.
You need to consult with your wife about your affairs, your plans, trust her. Maybe she is not as good at business as he is, but perhaps she will be able to offer a lot of value, since female intuition often works faster than male logic. But even if the wife cannot help her husband in his affairs, love for him makes her deeply interested in his concerns. And she is happy when he asks her for advice, and so they become even closer.
It is necessary that the husband's hands, inspired by love, know how to do everything. It is necessary that every loving husband has a big heart. Many sufferers must find help in a real family. Every husband of a Christian wife should unite with her in love for Christ. Out of love for her, he will go through trials in faith. Sharing her life, filled with faith and prayers, he will connect his life with Heaven. United on earth by common faith in Christ, melting their mutual love into love for God, they will be eternally united in Heaven. Why on earth do hearts waste years, merging into one, weaving their lives, merging souls into one union, which can only be achieved beyond the grave? Why not immediately strive for eternity?
Not only the happiness of a husband's life depends on his wife, but also the development and growth of his character. A good wife is a blessing of Heaven, the best gift for a husband, his angel and a source of innumerable blessings: her voice for him is the sweetest music, her smile illuminates his day, her kiss is the guardian of his faithfulness, her hands are the balm of his health and all his life , her hard work is the guarantee of his prosperity, her thriftiness is his most reliable manager, her lips are his best advisor, her breasts are the softest pillow on which all worries are forgotten, and her prayers are his advocate before the Lord.
A faithful wife does not need to be a poet's dream, or a beautiful picture, or an ephemeral creature that is scary to touch, but you need to be a healthy, strong, practical, hardworking woman, capable of fulfilling family responsibilities, and still marked by the beauty that gives the soul a lofty and noble goal.
The first requirement for a wife is loyalty, loyalty in the broadest sense. Her husband's heart must trust her without fear. Absolute trust is the foundation of true love. A shadow of doubt destroys the harmony of family life. A faithful wife by her character and behavior proves that she is worthy of her husband's trust. He is confident in her love, he knows that her heart is always devoted to him. He knows that she genuinely supports his interests. It is very important that a husband can entrust his faithful wife with all household chores, knowing that everything will be in order. The prodigality and extravagance of wives ruined the happiness of many married couples.
Every faithful wife is imbued with the interests of her husband. When it's hard for him, she tries to cheer him up with her sympathy, expressions of her love. She enthusiastically supports all his plans. She is not a load on his legs. She is the strength in his heart that helps him to do better. Not all wives are blessings to their husbands. Sometimes a woman is compared to a creeping plant twining around a mighty oak - her husband.
A faithful wife makes her husband's life nobler, more significant, turning him with the power of her love to lofty goals. When, trusting and loving, she falls to him, she awakens in him the noblest and richest features of his nature. She encourages courage and responsibility in him. She makes his life beautiful, softens his harsh and rude habits, if any.
Some wives think only of romantic ideals, and neglect their daily duties and do not strengthen their marital happiness. It often happens when the most tender love dies, and the reason for this is disorder, negligence, and poor housekeeping.
A woman is endowed with the gift of compassion, delicacy, the ability to inspire. This makes her look like a messenger of Christ with a mission to alleviate human suffering and sorrow.
For every wife, the main responsibility is the arrangement and maintenance of her home. She should be generous and kind. A woman whose heart is not touched by the sight of grief, who does not seek to help when it is in her power, is deprived of one of the main feminine qualities that form the basis of feminine nature. A real woman shares the burden of his worries with her husband. Whatever happens to the husband during the day, when he enters his house, he must get into an atmosphere of love. Other friends can cheat on him, but the wife's devotion must be unchanged. When darkness falls and adversity surrounds the husband, the wife's devoted eyes look at her husband like stars of hope shining in the dark. When he is crushed, her smile helps him regain strength, like a sunbeam straightens a wilted flower.
With the blessing of the quiet Heaven
Angels fly to us
When, numb from grief,
The soul suffers.
If knowledge is the strength of a man, then gentleness is the strength of a woman. Heaven always blesses the house of the one who lives for good. A devoted wife has the fullest confidence in her husband. She hides nothing from him. She does not listen to the words of admiration of others that she cannot retell to him. She shares with him every feeling, hope, desire, every joy or sorrow. When she feels disappointed or offended, she may be tempted to find empathy by sharing her feelings with close friends. Nothing could be more destructive, both for her own interests and for the restoration of peace and happiness in her house. Sorrows complained about to outsiders remain wounds that never heal. A wise wife will not share her secret misfortune with anyone, except her master, since only he can smooth out all disagreements and disagreements with patience and love.
Love reveals a lot in a woman that prying eyes cannot see. She throws a veil on her shortcomings and transforms even her most simple features.
As the charm of physical beauty disappears over time in labors and worries, the beauty of the soul should shine more and more, replacing the lost attraction. The wife should always care more about pleasing her husband than anyone else. When they are only together, she should look even better, and not wave a hand at her appearance, since no one else sees her. Instead of being lively and attractive in the company, and left alone, falling into melancholy and silent, the wife should remain cheerful and attractive even when she is alone with her husband in her quiet house. Both husband and wife should give each other all the best in themselves. Her ardent interest in all his affairs and her wise advice on any matter strengthens him to carry out his daily duties and makes him brave for any battle. And a woman can find the wisdom and strength that she needs to fulfill the holy duties of a wife by turning only to God.
There is nothing stronger than the feeling that comes to us when we hold our children in our arms. Their helplessness touches noble strings in our hearts. For us, their innocence is a cleansing power. When a newborn is in the house, the marriage is reborn as it were. The child brings the couple closer together like never before. The previously silent strings come to life in the hearts. Young parents face new goals and new desires. Life immediately takes on a new and deeper meaning.
A holy burden has been laid on their hands, an immortal life that they need to preserve, and this instills in parents a sense of responsibility, makes them think. “I” is no longer the center of the universe. They have a new goal to live for, a goal great enough to fill their entire lives.
“Children are the apostles of God,
Which day after day
He sends us to speak
About love, peace, hope! "
Of course, with children we have a lot of worries and troubles, and therefore there are people who look at the appearance of children as a misfortune. But only cold egoists look at children this way.
“Oh, what the world would suddenly become for us,
If there were no children in it,
There is only emptiness behind us,
And ahead - only a shadow of death.
What do leaves mean to trees?
And light and air through them,
Thickening into sweet, delicate juice
Go to the trunks, feeding them.
As if the leaves in that forest -
For the world, children; through their eyes
We perceive the beauty
Bestowed by heaven. "
It is a great thing to take responsibility for these tender young lives, which can enrich the world with beauty, joy, strength, but which can also easily perish; it's a great thing to nurture them, to shape their character - that's what you need to think about when you set up your home. This should be a house in which children will grow up for a true and noble life, for God.
No treasures of the world can replace the loss of incomparable treasures for a person - his own children. Something God gives often, but something only once. The seasons pass and return again, new flowers bloom, but youth never comes twice. Childhood with all its possibilities is given only once. What you can do to decorate it, do it quickly.
The main center of any person's life should be his home. This is the place where children grow up - they grow physically, strengthen their health and absorb everything that will make them true and noble men and women. In the home where children grow up, their surroundings and everything that happens affects them, and even the smallest detail can have a wonderful or harmful effect. Even the nature around them shapes the future character. Everything beautiful that children’s eyes see is imprinted in their sensitive hearts. Wherever a child is brought up, the impressions of the place where he grew up affect his character. We must make the rooms in which our children sleep, play, live as beautiful as our means allow. Children love pictures, and if the pictures in the house are clean and good, then they wonderfully influence them, make them more sophisticated. But the house itself, clean, tastefully decorated, with simple decorations and pleasant surroundings, has an invaluable influence on the upbringing of children.
It is a great art to live together, loving each other dearly. This should start with the parents themselves. Each house is similar to its creators. A refined nature makes a house refined, a rude person makes a house rude.
There can be no deep and sincere love where selfishness rules. Perfect love is perfect self-denial.
Parents should be what they want their children to be - not in words, but in deeds. They should teach their children by the example of their lives.
Another important element of family life is the relationship of love to each other; not just love, but cultured love in the daily life of the family, the expression of love in words and deeds. The courtesy in the house is not formal, but sincere and natural. Children need joy and happiness no less than plants need air and sunlight. The richest inheritance that parents can leave to children is a happy childhood, with fond memories of father and mother. It will illuminate the days to come, keep them from temptation and help in the harsh everyday life of life when children leave their parental home.
Oh, may God help every mother to understand the greatness and glory of the work ahead of her, when she holds at her breast a baby whom she needs to nurture and raise. As for children, it is the duty of parents to prepare them for life, for any trials that God will send them.
Be committed. Receive your sacred burden with reverence. The strongest bonds are the bonds by which the human heart is connected to the real home. In a real home, even a small child has a voice. And the appearance of a baby affects the entire family life. A house, no matter how modest and small, for any family member should be the most expensive place on earth. He should be filled with such love, such happiness that, no matter where a person wanders afterwards, no matter how many years pass, his heart should still be drawn to his home. In all trials and troubles, the home is a refuge for the soul.
Willpower is the basis of courage, but courage can only grow into real masculinity when the will gives in, and the more the will gives in, the stronger the manifestations of masculinity.
There is no act on earth more suitable for a man than such when a man in his prime, like a small child, lovingly bows down to his weak parent, showing him reverence and respect.
We know that when He refuses our request, then fulfilling it would be for our evil; when He leads us on the wrong road that we marked out, He is right; when He punishes or corrects us, He does it with love. We know that He does everything for our highest good.
As long as the parents are alive, the child always remains a child and must respond to the parents with love and respect. The love of children for their parents is expressed in complete trust in them. For a real mother, everything that her child is interested in is important. She just as eagerly listens to about his adventures, joys, disappointments, achievements, plans and fantasies, as other people listen to some romantic story.
Children must learn self-denial. They won't be able to have everything they want. They must learn to give up their own desires for the sake of other people. They should also learn to be caring. A carefree person always causes harm and pain, not intentionally, but simply through negligence. In order to show concern, not so much is needed - a word of encouragement, when someone is in trouble, a little tenderness, when the other looks sad, to come to the aid of someone who is tired in time. Children must learn to benefit their parents and each other. They can do this without requiring undue attention, without causing others to worry and worry about themselves. As soon as they grow up a little, children should learn to rely on themselves, learn to do without the help of others, in order to become strong and independent.
Parents sometimes sin with excessive anxiety or stupid and constantly annoying exhortations, but sons and daughters must agree that at the heart of all this over-caring lies deep concern for them.
A noble life, a strong, honest, serious, godly character - this is the best reward for parents for the exhausting years of selfless love. Let the children live so that parents in old age can be proud of them. Let the children fill their fading years with tenderness and affection.
There should be a strong and loving friendship between brothers and sisters. In our hearts and our lives, we must cherish and grow everything that is beautiful, true, and sacred. Friendships in our own home, for them to be deep, sincere and heartfelt, should be formed by parents, helping to bring souls closer. There is no friendship in the world that is purer, richer and more fruitful than in a family, if only to direct the development of this friendship. A young man should be more polite to his sister than to any other young woman in the world, and a young woman, while she does not have a husband, should consider her brother the closest person in the world to her. They must in this world protect each other from dangers and deceitful and disastrous ways.
An invisible Guardian Angel always hovers over each of us.
Life is especially difficult for every young person. When he enters into it, he needs the support of everyone who loves him. He needs the prayers and help of all his friends. Lack of loving support, many young people lose in life's battles, and those who emerge victorious often owe this victory to the love of faithful hearts, which instilled in them hope and courage in their hours of struggle. In this world, it is impossible to know the true value of true friendship.
Each devoted sister can have such a powerful influence on her brother that she will lead him, like the finger of the Lord, along the right path of life. In your own home, by your own example, show them all the sublime beauty of true noble femininity. Striving for everything tender, pure, holy in the divine ideal of a woman, be the embodiment of virtue and make virtue for everyone so attractive that vice will always cause only disgust in them. May they see in you such purity of soul, such nobility of spirit, such divine holiness that your radiance will always protect them, wherever they go, like a protective shell or like an angel hovering over their heads in eternal blessing. May every woman with the help of God strive for perfection. When your brother is tempted, visions of such love and purity will arise before his eyes that he will turn away from the temptress in disgust. A woman for him is an object of either respect or contempt, and it depends on what he sees in the soul of his sister. Therefore, the sister should try to win the love and respect of her brother. She could not do more harm if she instilled in him the idea that all women are heartless and frivolous, longing only for pleasure and wanting to be admired. Brothers, in turn, should protect the sisters.
We are not fully aware of our strength,
That we do good or evil every day.
Someone was ruined by an evil word,
And kindness saved someone.
Quiet words, petty deeds,
Of those that we immediately forget,
We do not attach any importance to them,
And the weak break down from this.
Attitude towards women is the best way to test the nobility of a man. He should treat every woman with respect, regardless of whether she is rich or poor, high or low in social position, and show her all kinds of signs of respect. A brother must protect his sister from any evil and unwanted influence. For her sake, he must behave impeccably, be magnanimous, truthful, disinterested, love God. Everyone who has a sister should cherish and love her. The power that she possesses is the power of true femininity, which conquers with the purity of her soul, and her strength is in softness.
Purity of thoughts and purity of soul are what really ennobles.
It is impossible to imagine true femininity without purity. Even among this world, mired in sins and vices, it is possible to preserve this holy purity. “I saw a lily floating in the black swamp water. Everything around was rotten, and the lily remained as clean as an angel's garment. Ripples appeared in the dark pond, she swayed the lily, but not a speck appeared on it. " So even in our immoral world, a young woman can keep her soul unblemished by radiating holy, disinterested love. The heart of a young man should rejoice if he has a beautiful noble sister who trusts him and considers him to be her protector, advisor and friend. And a sister should rejoice if her brother has turned into a strong man who can protect her from the storms of life. There must be a deep, strong, and intimate friendship between brother and sister, and they must trust each other. Let the seas and continents lie between them, their love will forever remain faithful, strong and faithful. Life is too short to be wasted in struggles and quarrels, especially in the sacred circle of the family.
Hard work, difficulties, worries, self-sacrifice and even grief lose their sharpness, gloom and severity when softened by tender love, just as cold, bare, jagged rocks become beautiful when wild vines twine their green garlands, and tender flowers fill all the depressions and cracks.
I heard a quiet, gentle word,
Like the breath of a summer afternoon
I took it so close to my heart
And I remember him forever
In my heart, whose pounding and beating
This word does not drown out.
Until his last moments
Let it continue to live in it.
Every wonderful thought that comes to a child's mind subsequently strengthens and ennobles his character. Our bodies, contrary to our wishes, age, but why shouldn't our souls always remain young? It is simply a crime to suppress children's joy and make children look dark and important. Very soon, life's problems will fall on their shoulders. Very soon life will bring them anxiety, worries, difficulties, and a burden of responsibility. So let them remain young and carefree for as long as possible. Their childhood should, as far as possible, be filled with joy, light, and fun games.
Parents should not be ashamed of the fact that they play and fool around with their children. Maybe it is then that they are closer to God than when they are doing the most important, in their opinion, work.
The songs of childhood are never forgotten. Memories of them lie under the load of worried years, like delicate flowers under the snow in winter.
In the life of every home, sooner or later, a bitter experience comes - the experience of suffering. There may be years of cloudless happiness, but there will certainly be sorrows. The stream, which has been running for so long, like a merry stream running in bright sunlight through winter meadows among flowers, deepens, darkens, plunges into a gloomy gorge, or falls like a waterfall.
In the solitude and silence of the monastery,
Where guardian angels fly
Far from temptation and sin
She lives, whom everyone considers dead.
Everyone thinks she already lives
In the divine celestial sphere.
She steps outside the walls of the monastery,
Submissive to her increased faith.
No one knows what holy sacrament occurs in a baby who is destined to live only an hour on this earth. He does not live it in vain. In this short hour, he can accomplish more, leave a deeper mark than others, living for many years. Many children dying bring their parents to the sacred feet of Christ.
There is grief that hurts even more than death. But God's love can turn any test into a blessing.
“Behind the cloud is the starlight,
After a downpour, a ray of sunshine shines
God has no unloved creatures,
He sends good to all his creations! "
And so the life of a true home flows, sometimes in bright sunlight, sometimes in darkness. But in light or in darkness - she always teaches us to turn to Heaven, as to the Great House, in which all our dreams and hopes are realized, where the ties that have been torn on earth are reunited. In everything we have and do, we need the blessing of God. No one but God will support us during our great sorrow. Life is so fragile that any parting can be eternal. We can never be sure that we will still have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness for an evil word and be forgiven.
Our love for each other can be sincere and deep on sunny days, but it is never so strong as in the days of suffering and grief, when all her hidden riches are revealed.
However, often a woman evaluates herself incorrectly and therefore cannot build the right relationship with a man. How do you learn to be a happy woman? This is great science. Here are some guidelines to help you remember what makes a woman a woman.
1. The sphere of influence of a woman, the place of application of her efforts, her kingdom is the home. Whether we like it or not, if we really want the family to be happy, we must learn how to properly organize the performance of household chores. Such as cooking, washing, cleaning, even renovating the apartment (if necessary, we can and should inspire my husband to renovate). As for the kitchen (food), then it is imperative to take into account the peculiarities of the husband's stomach, otherwise we will not get well later.
2. If sometimes it seems to us that a man should clean the apartment himself, without reminders, then this means that we simply do not understand and humiliate the man. Instead of boring lectures, you need to ask for help and there will be no humiliation. And it is also worth remembering (as an axiom): a man's sense of purity does not exist. It's like the sun is shining or it's snowing. This is all!
3. The sphere of influence of a man is everything that is outside the house, therefore, earnings are the sphere of activity of the husband. And if a man accuses that a woman earns little, this is a direct insult. A woman can only work for pleasure.
4. A woman's home clothes should be such as if every day is a special holiday of her personal kingdom. The most beautiful women's clothing is the one in which she walks around the house, and not the one in which she lures men on the street.
5. In a relationship with your husband, you need to belittle yourself a little. This is not humiliation at all, but an advantage. Because a woman is always in the center of attention - both from the side of the children and from the side of her husband. It is like a middle transmission link - it receives and transmits from top to bottom, and receives and transmits from the bottom up. A man can only get happiness from his wife directly. And due to the fact that the woman is closer to the children, she gives the father the opportunity to receive happiness from the children.
6. The man is the head and the woman is the heart. Never criticize your husband in front of other people or children. After all, the heart cannot criticize the head - it can only prompt. Even if the man made the wrong decision, it was made by him, and based on the experience already gained, the next decision will be more correct. We need to allow our men to correct their mistakes on their own. So they get wiser faster and become more responsible.
7. Inspire the man. Even if he does not know how to hammer a nail or get a lucrative order, if his wife inspires him to do this, the man will try his best. And if the wife finds the right incentive, her family will be well financially secured. One should not think that it is better for a woman to earn money herself - a man is by nature much better adapted to this.
8. In conversation, watch your intonation. When talking to your husband, try to keep your voice soft and bubbly. You can learn to say even difficult things with a gentle voice. A harsh tone always evokes rejection.
9. You can lose your job, but never lose your family. If we do not understand this in time, then we are very bitterly sorry. We should not think that softness is demeaning. Gentleness is inherent in feminine nature and its proper use is the key to success in a relationship. By not allowing yourself to sit on your neck, but gently guiding a man, you will make him more masculine and noble.
10. My good women, it will be difficult for us to change. Knowing and doing are very different things. We are all afraid of change. However, some are only afraid, while others are afraid and do. I am a supporter of the latter. The road cannot be perfectly flat - we will make mistakes, fall, rise and go on, supporting each other.
If we can make our men happy, we will be happy ourselves. And our children will live together all over the Earth.
Three components of female family happiness
Sometimes you look at some women and do not understand why one of them is all glowing, beloved and loving, content with her family life, while the other is constantly faced with problems, misunderstanding of her husband, aggression, etc. Although the initial data seems to be the same for one and the other. Those. they are both attractive, and quick-witted, and feminine, and economic.
So what helps the first and what prevents the second? We will talk about this in this article.
Laws of Happiness
There are some components of family happiness. Those. if you unconsciously or consciously use them, then you will have happiness, love and harmony. If you do not know anything about them, this does not mean that these laws do not work. Naturally, without including these components in your family life, you blindly stumble from side to side, perhaps looking for answers to your questions, perhaps trying to change something, but the fact remains that you have an unhappy personal life.
So what to do, what does a woman need to be happy?
Love
The cornerstone of a happy marriage is, of course, love! And the woman who is able to awaken love in her man becomes happy.
Youth, beauty - it's all good! But love does not depend on age or situation.
If you got married for great love, and now everything seems to have evaporated, then think about why everything happened like this? If your husband does not love you, then perhaps you are doing something like this or behaving in such a way that your man's feelings fade away or you simply have forgotten how to or even did not know how to awaken your husband's love.
In the early stages of a relationship, your hormones were involved in kindling a fire, supporting love, and arousal. Your behavior, gaze, gait - everything was saturated with love and aroused the love of your husband. Over time, the harmonies have calmed down, because it is impossible for them to constantly be at their peak.
Therefore, all you need to revive your husband's love is to create in yourself this state of love, lust, excitement, which would attract your husband to you.
It is easy for us women to do this, because it is already created by nature, it is already inside us, these are our instincts.
Dignity
The second ingredient in a happy marriage is your self-esteem.
Does your husband humiliate you or show you aggression or disrespect? Does it scream at you?
How do you react? Do you allow him to behave that way? Crying softly and withdrawing into yourself? Blame yourself for all the fights? Trying to walk on tiptoe so as not to provoke conflict?
It is important to understand here, if you behave in this way, you demean yourself in the eyes of your man, you diminish his love for you.
After all, no man will love a woman who is being bullied, who constantly feels guilty and therefore all the blame, mistakes and problems can be blamed on her.
A man needs a woman who is ardent, passionate, ready to leave at any moment only because her man behaved unworthily, that woman who is difficult to command. Even if a man never admits it.
A man needs a woman who appreciates, loves and respects herself. And it is right.
Desires
If you want to be happy in family life, you must remember that a man must definitely perceive and take into account your desires.
Perhaps you no longer remember what you once wanted, where you wanted to go or what places to visit, what to learn and what you once wanted to grow with your husband. Perhaps you think that now is not the time to satisfy your desires, there is no money or the wrong life situation.
But you definitely need to achieve the fulfillment of your desires. This is not selfishness. This is healthy practicality.
After all, we love the person to whom we serve, to whom we give our time, money, ourselves. And if your husband does not sacrifice himself, his time, money for the sake of fulfilling your desires, will ignore your "wants", then very soon he will stop loving you.
Therefore, have your desires and make sure that your husband reckons with them.
So, in this article we have sorted out what a woman needs to be happy in family life. We must also remember that the keys to our happiness are in our hands, regardless of whether a man is trying to change your relationship for the better or not. Therefore, by taking responsibility for ourselves, we may well build a happy, harmonious family life. After all, we are Women! And that's it!
