Test number 20 Do you know how to be friends? Key I. Alas, it turns out that you find it difficult to maintain a friendship, as well as to find a new one. If you do have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then this can be classified as a miracle. You would like to find support in friends, but you are too fast in movement.

Test number 1 Do you know how to forgive insults? Resentment is bitterness, usually inward. All of us have been offended at least once in our lives. Long-term grievances can subsequently cause serious diseases such as cirrhosis of the liver and even cancer. In the end, the resentment is yours and

Test number 5 Do you know how to understand people? Don't be cunning in choosing the most appropriate answer. 1. If a new acquaintance immediately begins to tell jokes and make jokes, you decide that he: A. The wit and the merry fellow - 1.B. Hides behind its ostentatious gaiety

Test number 8 Do you know how to enjoy life? Are you still able to enjoy life, is the world of your feelings filled with joy, or do you perceive life in dark colors? By honestly answering the questions on this test, you will understand the state of your prevailing emotional background. 1. You willingly

Test 2. Do you know how to perform? If you scored: more than 12 points - you know how to subjugate the audience, do not allow liberties in behavior on the podium and in speech, but excessive independence from the audience can make you insensitive to the interests of the audience; less than 12

Test 5. Do you know how to listen correctly? If you have scored: 32 or more points. You are the perfect listener. 27-31 points. You are an above average listener. 22-26 points. You need additional training and must consciously practice listening so that these serious

Test number 18 Do you know how to enjoy life? Is the world of your senses filled with joy, or do you perceive life in dark colors? By honestly choosing the answer options that are most acceptable to you, you can understand the state of your prevailing "emotional background" by looking at

Do you think this is a simple question that you can answer right off the bat? No, it’s not like that. You can sincerely believe that someone is someone, and you know how to love, but your loved ones may hold a completely different opinion. You will think that all your nagging and nagging is a sign of care and anxiety for your loved ones, and your environment will consider you a grouch or a bore. So do not rush to a conclusion, it is better to answer all the questions of this test, and then a lot will become clear for you. Don't be surprised if some of the questions seem completely irrelevant to you - in fact, they help reveal some aspects of your character and add additional touches to the big picture. You can answer "yes", "no" or "I don't know, that never bothered me." Do not hesitate over the questions for a long time, answer the first thing that comes to your mind.

1. When combing, do you always try to do it in the best possible way, being careful not to damage your hair while enjoying the combing process?

2. Applying a nourishing cream to your face in the evening, do you experience irritation because your skin is no longer as smooth and tender as it used to be?

3. Every day you look meticulously in the mirror - have you got unnecessary roundness or fat folds somewhere?

4. You are terribly in love with compliments, are they pleasant to you even when they are clearly not true?

5. Do you hate it when unfamiliar men stare at you and literally undress you?

6. Will you get great pleasure from a pleasant walk, even if no one will accompany you and you have to walk alone?

7. Do you really like to dance slow dances, do you like to cuddle up with your whole body to a handsome man, to feel his strong and gentle hands on your back and waist?

8. If you accidentally find out that your loved one was once married or did something extraordinary, although he did not tell you anything about it, will you accuse him of lying?

9. Do you lack tender glances and strong hugs, would you like to hear words of love from your beloved?

10. Do you have your own style of dress, which you always adhere to, without allowing any exceptions?

11. You can't even imagine leaving the house and not using perfume, it seems to you that without the usual light scent you are not like yourself?

12. Do you hate public transport because the hustle and bustle turns cute and interesting people into one gray, faceless and disgusting mass?

13. Do you like to command people, subjecting them to your will and forcing them to do what they would not want to do?

14. When you walk around the museum, you constantly want to break the ban and touch all the exhibits with your hands, and sometimes, when no one sees, you succumb to temptation?

15. When you read an interesting book, you willy-nilly imagine yourself in the place of the main character, especially if you have a love story in your hands?

16. You do not like surprises, are you much more pleased if you know exactly what they will give you for your birthday?

17. Do you feel bad mood if during a conversation with a man you are interested in, the phone rings and distracts him from you?

18. Do you have girlfriends whom you think are fools and losers?

19. Does it ever happen that you are so involved in the film that the death of the main character of a melodrama makes you cry?

20. Do your family members often praise the food you cook, but never notice a change in your appearance, such as a new hairstyle, fashionable makeup, beautiful dress?

21. After a glass of champagne, you are surprised to notice that during a conversation every now and then you touch your interlocutor with your hand, especially if you are talking with a man?

22. Sometimes your loved ones infuriate you so much that it gives you pleasure to imagine yourself beating them with a belt or locking them in a room with a key?

23. Do you like watching films about animals, even if you know for sure that the end will be sad?

24. Has it ever happened that after a violent quarrel with your dear person you were seized by a strange state, similar to numbness!

25. You do not like it when you are presented with underwear, do you dislike the very thought that a stranger will see or even touch those things that you put on your naked body?

They say that people in general do not know how to love and from this misfortunes and misfortunes happen, and from this humanity suffers as a whole, does not develop, and therefore we are still not in paradise (or where anyone wants to be there). This is a delusion, forgive me for being categorical. Troubles, misfortunes and other misfortunes do not happen because people do not know how to love, but because people do not know how to hate. How do you like this turn? But do not rush to draw conclusions and make value judgments - everything has its time. In the next 8 pages, I will try to describe in popular language some different (complex and not so complicated) psychological concepts, phenomena and views, without resorting to professional terminology.

I'll start with love - do people really not know how to love? “To be able to love” - how is this to be understood at all? To begin with, I will say that “to be able to love” and “to love” are two big differences. I'll use the food metaphor, hopefully this will make it clearer: you can be able to cook food, but not cook it. And you can think to yourself “I can cook,” but any attempts to cook something lead, as a result, to something completely inedible, nauseous, or even worse - poisonous.

And if a person sincerely wanted to cook something good, tasty, edible and useful, but having received something opposite as a result of his actions, he will probably endanger self-criticism and self-esteem: “I am not good for anything, I am not capable of anything , I am a nonentity "or, which is not much better, will expose others to criticism:" He / she does not understand anything about sausage scraps. " Well, similarly for love: “he / she is not able (to) love / accept love / be grateful”, etc.

However, in one and the other case, a person avoids reality and remains in the illusion of previous experience and inherited values. In the end, maybe he was trying to make something delicious from something completely inedible, or there was a catastrophic mistake in the recipe - instead of “1 tsp. salt "turned out to be" 1 kg. salt ". And instead of understanding what is happening, a person is in a hurry to draw conclusions (about himself or others) and make value judgments.

Did something become clearer about love? Probably not. Perhaps because in the three previous paragraphs everything was mixed - "flies with cutlets", "people with horses" and "wolves with sheep." So let's start separating i.e. analyze. I will single out three main (I would even say fundamental) components in the context of which we will consider love: feelings, actions and evaluations. Of course, all three contexts are inextricably linked and one follows from the other, but for analysis and understanding you will have to separate.

Love as a feeling, as a feeling of oneself and one's state, one's current experiences and corresponding desires

Is there something "not to be able to" here? There are also sea variants - a person has many defensive reactions (repression, splitting off, projections, rationalizations, etc.), which are implemented in a million different ways. And almost all of these defenses are aimed at the fact that a person would feel something less, think about something and remember less, avoid a concrete (because painful) view of his problem. This "insensitivity" can manifest itself from mild deviations to such serious ones as complete loss of external sensations (complete indistinguishability of the taste of what is eaten, by analogy with food) and internal sensations (indistinguishability of hunger / satiety, by analogy with food). What problems this will lead to can be imagined by imagining the life of a person who does not know when he is full and / or when he is hungry and / or who does not distinguish the taste of what he eats.

And if a person, for example, successfully distinguishes between his sensations, but does not know what they are called, then teaching him the appropriate names is not difficult and fast. And having learned to name his feelings, a person will be able to start talking about it and communication with the environment will become meaningful. By analogy with food - if earlier, having received a bowl of salted soup, a person refused it, remained hungry, unhappy and could not say what was wrong, then, having learned to distinguish his feelings and name his feelings, he will be able to answer: “This soup is not for me to taste, because it is salty. " Understanding your feelings (external, in response to external influence, or internal) and their naming makes the subsequent dialogue constructive and meaningful.

But if the problem is more serious than the absence of a name for sensations, then the correction takes on a completely different direction and the complexity of this process increases many times over, and the success decreases. If a person once received an overabundance of stimulation of a certain kind, then he may lose sensitivity to this stimulation at the physical / organic level: during hyperstimulation, one can lose sight, hearing, and other sensations. And with insufficient stimulation, the corresponding ability does not develop and, perhaps, will never develop again. And no matter how many attempts you make here to teach a person to "feel correctly" - they will all end in failure. It is one thing to teach a person to name salinity / undersalt, which he feels, but does not know what to call, but quite another thing when a person has lost the ability to feel (differentiate) the same salinity or pungency (for example, in the case of an extensive and serious burn of the entire tongue).

So it turns out that two people with seemingly the same problem, but one needs a couple of sessions with a psychologist to correct it and, as a result, an excellent result, and the other has to walk for years, and the result is still far from the desired one. But, let's say, everything is fine here and a person is aware of what he feels, he can notice it, distinguish it and name it. is that enough?

Love as actions, concrete actions

There are two important components here: a "recipe" (a person's idea of ​​how to do / do the right thing in order to demonstrate their feelings and their attitude) and efforts to implement it (specific work, time and effort spent). If there is a mistake in the recipe, then turning to any professional chef (psychologist, by analogy) for advice, you can easily find and correct this mistake ... But will it give the same instant result?

For example, if this recipe is something very significant for a person, especially valuable, then it is not so easy to change it, despite the seemingly blatant evidence. This, in the example with culinary recipes, looks naive: “this recipe has been passed down in our family from generation to generation, this is a holy unbreakable relic” or “I got this recipe from my beloved mom / dad / grandmother / grandfather / etc. - I cannot change it , because if I change him, then I will betray my beloved person in my memory ”.

And in the case of a person's ideas about “how to love correctly”, everything is not so obvious, especially when a person does not realize the personal significance of this “recipe with a mistake”. If a person has eaten food prepared according to this recipe since childhood and is so identified with this food (even if it is over (under) salty / over (under) fried / over (under) pepper), then the very idea of ​​abandoning the usual recipe causes he has anxiety and / or fear of losing himself along with the loss of this habitual but terrible food. And in this situation, even having received indications of errors in the recipe, the person still remains committed to the old recipe - yes, he already knows “where he goes wrong,” but does everything as before - steps on the same rake, going as before “Route of love” / “recipe for food”.

So to find where the mistake is in the “recipe for love” is not difficult and not long. Correct the recipe - 30 minutes consultation. But it can take months and even years to realize the significance and value of the old recipe and allow yourself to disidentify with it, having gone through many fears and anxieties. And then you still need to spend a lot of effort to develop the habit of cooking according to a new recipe, overcoming the resistance of the old habit - this is also time and effort.

And again we get a situation where two people with seemingly the same problem - “a mistake in the recipe for love” (even when the wrong recipes repeat each other letter by letter) - have completely different results. So the first one leaves after the session happy and easily changes his life for the better, and the second goes to the same result for many months, moreover, these are months of very unpleasant experiences of their fears and anxieties + many efforts to overcome old habits and form new ones.

And now the second component of love as an action is actually work. Work and effort and resources and time that need to be spent to take action. This is good for children - their love for their parents does not require work, and the love of parents for their child (ideally) does not require any work from the child. But this applies only to infantile love - the child loves and is loved and does nothing for this. But parents do a lot, do a lot, spend a lot of their energy, their time, their resources. Such is the redistribution of responsibility and the corresponding redistribution of expended forces, with a smooth adjustment of this balance as the child grows up.

But this is ideal, but in reality it does not always work out that way. Or rather, even rarely when it turns out everything is correctly redistributed and balanced. As a result, “adult children” will appear who believe that love does not require any work and no effort, or “adult parents” carrying opposite attitudes - love is to give all of oneself without a trace without paying attention to oneself. As you might guess, such "adults" with opposite views on the "work of love" will find each other and mutually complement each other. Paradoxically, they both need each other in order to preserve such their ideas about love. However, such an illusion of newfound love will dissipate relatively quickly (from several months to several years) and harsh everyday life will confront such a couple with the inevitability of daily suffering. And they will be ready to suffer (until the strength and other resources run out), just not to give up their especially valuable, but unbalanced ideas about love and about themselves.

Nevertheless, they have a chance to reach an equal "balanced" position if they learn from each other. It is important: not to “teach each other”, but to “learn from each other”, and at the same time! One will have to learn to do something and create some values ​​and thereby take responsibility, while the other will have to learn to do less, accept some values ​​and thereby give responsibility. And it is possible to learn this. It is difficult, difficult, there will be many mistakes and painful moments, but you can learn this and, thereby, "grow" to the adult love of two self-sufficient people.

But it sounds so simple in words, in reality everything is not so simple, and distortions in balancing responsibility can be difficult and it can be difficult to figure it out on your own. It is difficult because, being a part of the “family” system, it is impossible to see all the “family” processes - this is possible only from the outside. And here, it would seem, "a look from the outside", namely from the side of moms and dads, grandparents, friends and girlfriends, colleagues and comrades - exactly what you need? Yes, that's what you need, but only under one single condition - they do not constitute a system of relationships with you, for example, the system "I + parents" or "I + friend / girlfriend" or others. After all, if they are in systemic relations with you, then, being inside this system, they also do not notice much and do not even notice that they do not notice much - they remain in complete confidence that "I can see everything very well from the outside." ...

As you might guess, this condition is almost never met. This is especially evident in moments of redistribution of responsibility - when such people “outside the family” take responsibility for your feelings, actions or assessments. For example, when they tell you what you (should not) feel or want, how you (should not) react or interpret events, when they advise you how (not) to act and act, when they begin to give an assessment of right / wrong or bad / good. And, by the way, it is very difficult to learn not to take someone else's responsibility, not to give assessments and life advice. Psychologists teach this, they teach it for a long time, for many, many years, and even then it is not always possible to guarantee success in this matter. Accidentally meeting a non-judgmental attitude in the "wild nature" of human relationships is a very unlikely event.

Love as an appreciation

The problem begins when feelings, not actions, are judged. It is quite correct to evaluate a specific act - then a person has the opportunity to rethink his behavior and reassess the value system. When feelings are assessed, this is perceived as an immediate threat to the person himself, his being, his essence (since initially feelings are not separated from a person, he is identified with them). When a child is confronted with the fact of assessing “your feeling is wrong and therefore I will not love you”, he has anxiety about losing the relationship of love, as well as his life - for the child this is identical and is fixed at the “genetic” level. And what is left to do for a child who is almost literally told “I don’t love you like that”? Only one thing - to stop being what he is.

And here, for the purpose of survival, he begins to use violence against himself - to forbid himself certain feelings, desires, views or actions. In general, he will do everything not to be himself. At the same time, the child assimilates such a model of attitudes towards himself as the only possible one, and even if years later the person who evaluated him so and frightened him with the threat of hardening is not there, the grown-up child will repeat this model in his relationship with himself. And already to himself not to allow himself to be himself. And the longing for the lost itself will not let go. And it’s also good if only melancholy - there are cases and much more serious.

But apart from evaluating oneself with love - to love oneself “right” and not to love oneself “to be“ wrong ”- a person will reproduce the same model in relationships with others: to love and not love another not for his own sake, but for the sake of influencing the other. Where do you think this relationship will lead? They will reproduce the horror that a child once experienced when he was judged with love and frightened with rejection - fear or anxiety will permeate not only a person “from the inside,” but also his entire being around him, making his life unbearable. You will want to escape from such an unbearable life. Someone will run away into various addictions, someone else - into oblivion (whether chemical or alcoholic), someone else - into death. Yes, you can also escape into death, and this is easier and faster than learning to live without evaluating your feelings, and without evaluating your feelings.

Nevertheless, it is possible. It's easy to say about it - a couple of minutes. You can even understand this in a couple of minutes. But it takes a lot of time to retrain yourself to treat yourself differently. Sometimes it is VERY long time, up to decades. This process can be significantly accelerated by simply observing how someone else is non-judgmental (whether to you or to someone else in your presence - both will affect, but in different ways). Remember where you can meet people with a non-judgmental attitude?

Summing up the problems of love

As you can see, at each of the three stages (feelings, actions, assessment), a problem may arise that will affect the quality of life. Moreover, there can be problems at two stages at once, and at three at the same time, and not even several at each stage. And they are solved in different ways. The important thing is that in most cases they are resolved. It is also important that in some cases the solution is quick and effective, and in some it is long and unpleasant, even painful. With the soul as well as with the body: sometimes aspirin helps with headaches and a plaster for pain in the leg, and sometimes they are sent for brain surgery with a headache, and for amputation with a pain in the leg. Exaggerated, of course, but…. You should not draw conclusions and assumptions based only on the similarity of your symptoms with those of a neighbor / relative / friend or acquaintance.

However, the time has come to return to the beginning - can people love? My answer is this - some can, some learn quickly, some unsuccessful and even successful attempts to love are expensive, and for some it is almost impossible. Well, then what is the point in generalization if there is no one simple, understandable and unambiguous answer?

The point is that big problems for a person stem from the inability to love, but even more from the inability to hate. What the life of a person who does not know how to love sometimes turns into is very sad and tragic. But what the life of a person (and his entire environment, close and not so) can turn into, who does not know how to hate, is just a disaster. Sometimes a catastrophe on a personal scale, and sometimes on a planetary scale.

Again, we recall the non-judgmental perception: the feelings themselves (that love, that hate, that any other) are neither bad nor good, and an attempt to evaluate them leads to very unpleasant consequences. Moreover, the "stigma" of the feeling of hatred - to much more serious consequences. Above, I have demonstrated how a person's inability to deal with such a "socially acceptable" feeling as love can end. If a person does not learn to deal with his hatred, the consequences will be, as I said, catastrophic. And love and hate are feelings that give a person a lot, a lot of energy, and what kind of work this energy will be spent on is still a question.

Can the actions that a person commits "out of love" be negatively assessed as bad? This happens all the time - starting from childhood, when a child, from an overabundance of love, creates something beautiful (in his understanding) as a gift to his parents, spoiling or destroying something valuable along the way, and it is on this loss that parents concentrate and evaluate accordingly child's love. And in the behavior of more mature people, you can find many examples when actions "out of love" lead to very serious and tragic consequences, up to the death of a person. This is not a secret and will not be a discovery.

Hate problem

And can actions committed "out of hatred" be assessed positively? Of course not all of them, nevertheless - yes, they are. But it will be very problematic to prove this, because if a person was motivated by hatred, but in that way he received social recognition, then he will hide his motive, because hatred is not socially encouraged. Moreover, the more noticeable the recognition, the more carefully it is necessary to hide the motive of hatred, if there was one, to the extent of hiding it from oneself, forgetting about it, and pushing it out of one's consciousness. Therefore, it will be very problematic to prove this statement. But this does not mean that it is wrong.

The next very important point: love is perfect for changing yourself - adapting, adjusting, changing, and hatred, accordingly, for changing your environment, the surrounding space, the world around you. Of course, this is again just my assumption, which I cannot prove now, nevertheless ... I see it as extremely ineffective and not environmentally friendly when a person directs the “energy of love” to change someone in his environment or change his space. Judge for yourself - if a person loves the space around himself or another person, then why change it? What's the point of this? Rather, it suggests that perhaps he does not really love that, or loves, but not a real person from his environment, but something else. And he is trying, thus, to modify the "wrong next to" so that it would correspond to the "correct representation within me, which I love." In other words, placing a real person in the Procrustean bed of ideas about love, and cutting off all that is superfluous. Moreover, making this cut off profit, without anesthesia, and with words of boundless love for the one from whom the "excess" is now being cut off.

But hatred is just perfect as a source of energy for changing the space around a person and people in his environment. And no, this does not mean that a person should immediately begin to destroy his environment or hurt him - remember, you can start doing the same thing out of love. Hatred is still considered socially and personally unacceptable phenomenon because no one has ever taught anyone to hate and use this energy for constructive, useful and socially acceptable purposes. However, hatred exists and is an integral experience of any person. But due to the widespread social and personal “stigmatization” of hatred, it is considered normal to isolate oneself from this feeling as much as possible. But this in no way helps a person to cope with it, and even more so to direct him into a constructive channel. Moreover, it leads to uncontrollable manifestations of hatred towards oneself (which destroys a person from the inside) or towards the environment.

And since all this (and feelings, and actions, and the assessment of hatred) is unpleasant for a person, he strives to avoid responsibility for them. And he will gladly delegate it to those who will use their personal hatred for their own selfish purposes. Gather and lead a couple of dozen people who do not know how to deal with their hatred, avoid responsibility for it and impatiently delegate it to you - and now they are already enthusiastically organizing pogroms at the behest of only your subtle hints. A couple of hundred - already a rally, a couple of thousand - already a revolution. And one eighth of the country is already a war.

So tell me now, please - if people knew how to hate, would not avoid responsibility for their hatred, would be able to direct it in a constructive direction by consciously changing the surrounding space and would not allow someone else to guide their hatred - what would the world be like then ? ..

That's actually all I wanted to say. Hatred is not something terrible that needs to be "branded and burned out" or with which needs to be fought. On the contrary, it is precisely this struggle that leads to such sad consequences that are attributed to hatred. You can understand your hatred, accept it, and learn to deal with it. Yes, doing this will be even harder than learning to love. But that is why this task is no less, and maybe even more important. In addition, a significant part of the "problems of love" finds its solution only through an adequate deal with their hatred. I will end with a simple wish: learn to love and take responsibility for your love - this will help you change yourself for the better, learn to hate and take responsibility for your hatred - this will help you change the world for the better.

Take tests and find out what friendship means to you and what love means.

The picture shows the outlines of two people walking the dogs. Draw these outlines, depict those details that, in your opinion, are missing.

Now answer yourself the question: "Whom did you finish drawing first?"

The figure you tackled in the first place, "Talks" about you, and the figure that you completed the second one talks about your friend. And this is not a specific person, but a collective image of those qualities that you value in friends.

If first of all, you finished drawing people, it testifies to your ability to be friends. You treat your friends as equals and never seek to absorb each other, never argue who is in charge in your relationship, etc.

If first of all, you finished drawing a person, and then a dog, this indicates your desire for dominance. You do not understand an equal relationship in friendship, considering it a boring business and a waste of time. You are so fond of commanding loved ones, subordinating them to your will, that sometimes you even require them to report on the completion of your tasks.

If first of all, you took up a dog, and secondly, a man, this, accordingly, shows your tendency to be submissive in friendships. It's easier for you to play the role of second violin, stay in the shadows and not take the initiative.

If first of all, you finished drawing both dogs, this indicates that you are opposing your friendship to the whole environment: "Against whom are we going to be friends?" The reasons for opposition can be very different - from adolescent conflict with adults to deep trauma and disappointment in people in general or in a certain category of people. But most importantly, you are looking for just such a sincere and loyal relationship that only dogs can have. And, unlike many, you find them.

The test shows your ability to empathize.

A sad dog is depicted in front of you. And she really lacks something to cheer up. What? Draw on paper. Draw whatever you like, do not analyze: "This suits the dog, but this is not."

What have you drawn?

larger animal, this indicates some arrogance that manifests itself at the moment when your friends have problems. You do not refuse help, but do not miss the moment to scold (yes, this word should be in bold) a person for his carelessness and inability to predict the situation.

If next to the dog you painted smaller animal than the dog depicted, this means that you know how to sincerely sympathize, but you do not always know how to help.

If you painted next to a dog human, this indicates your indifference. The problems of others for you are something distant and foreign, unnecessary chores.

If you built a house for the dog, a kennel, put a bedding, launched into the house, this means that you will always (mentally and physically) warm a person in trouble. You are not afraid to be responsible for a case that suddenly fell on you, always keep your promises. All your friends can be calm: you will not be lost with you!

Collar, muzzle, corral, cage. If you add such details to the dog, it means that the problems of others are not too much for you. You deliberately do not interfere in their affairs, believing that everyone should get out of the swamp himself.

Water, food(any, even one that dogs do not eat), food related attributes(bowl, spoon, cup), food preparation- if you added such details, it means that you will not pass by the needy and will definitely help the person in trouble. And not necessarily a friend. You cannot calmly look at the suffering of others. Therefore, you rush to everyone's rescue. Your problem is that sometimes this kind of "concern" can be arrogant. Although this is already a matter of ethics and specific situations. In any case, even such help is much better than none.

The test will show your attitude towards love.

Here is another drawing. Finish it up to give the finished look. Prerequisites - you should depict the background and people.

What have you portrayed?

If you turned the boat old and unusable(we completed the cracks, holes, focused on the old wood), this means that your attitude towards love at the moment leaves much to be desired. You are now unable to build a normal, stable love relationship for two reasons:

• you are young and inexperienced, and therefore make stupid mistakes in interpersonal relationships;
• you have suffered a love drama and have not yet recovered from the wound, and therefore do not rush to start a new relationship.

If you strengthened the boat, it means that you know how to love and want to build (or have already built) a lasting union.

Sail... If you have completed the boat with sails, it means that you are ready to develop a relationship and work on it. The feeling of love has never been superfluous for you.

Without sails... Going without sails is a sign that you don't know what to do with feelings of love. The state of being in love and love scares you rather than pleases you.

Water... What does your body of water look like?

Stormy sea with big waves. Love for you is something all-encompassing, passionate, stormy, insane. This is something that can confuse you and plunge you into the very abyss of feelings.

If you portrayed quiet body of water without waves, this means that your love usually flows smoothly, calmly, mentally, without tears and tantrums. Your love is very similar to the warm feelings you have for close relatives and friends.

If you painted body of water teeming with dangerous freshwater or marine animals- crocodiles, sharks, poisonous jellyfish, spiny hedgehogs, sharp corals (yes, corals are also marine animals, and very ancient), this means that you are afraid to fall in love, considering this feeling unsafe.

Sky shows the warehouse of your thinking. If in the sky you painted night, moon, stars, seagulls at sunset, this means that you are an incorrigible romantic.

If it shines in your sky bright sun so that you can see where to sail, and in the sky windy and windy inflates the sails, which means that even you approach love from a practical point of view.

People... What are they doing?

If your heroes are just hold hands(that is, you drew a standard, socially known image of a couple in love), this means that at the moment you are not yet ready to open your heart to another, or you are feeling tired, not ready for testing.

If the depicted people actively interact:

• work the oars together,
• one sits on the bow and commands where to sail,
• point to something to each other, discuss something, etc., -

all this means that you know how to love and know how to make both of them work on the relationship.

If one of the people you depict is working alone, and the other is resting, or one is telling something, and the other is not listening / sleeping / wants to leave the boat, this means that your love relationship is going through hard times now: one is trying, he drags everything on himself, while the other does not make any effort, lives “on the ready-made”.