To love two. I like two girls, what to do with it? Make a girl like 2 guys

Perhaps it may seem to someone that being interested in two guys at the same time is very cool, but in fact, in this situation, the heart breaks in two. In such a situation, in order to again achieve inner harmony, it is necessary to make a choice. If you are forced to choose between two guys, think about how each one makes you feel and trust your intuition. If you want to understand how to choose between two guys with the least mental loss, this article is for you.

Steps

Boyfriend choice

1. Rate the positive qualities of both guys. Next time you meet, try to get the guy talking and think about what you like best about him. It is not always possible to say for sure what exactly causes sympathy, but it is very important to analyze as much information as possible before making a decision. As you talk to each of the guys, ask yourself the following questions:

   • Can he make you laugh? Does he have a good sense of humor? We are all drawn to people who can make us laugh. Guys with a great sense of humor delight us and make us look at the world differently. When he tickles you, do you like it or is it unpleasant for you? No guy is allowed to touch you in certain places without your consent. If he wants to put his arms around your waist, take your hand, hug and kiss you, think about whether you are ready for this. Before you let him kiss you, learn how to do it. You probably don't want to embarrass yourself. Your chosen one should also be able to restrain himself.
   • Is he interested in other people? Does he care about anything other than himself? Guys who are only interested in themselves are often big nerds. You probably want to date a guy who has many friends, hobbies and his own view of the world.
   • Is he emotional? Does he care about other people? A lot of guys are pretty emotional, but they don't want anyone to know about it. If a guy is calm about the manifestation of his emotions, it means that he is a mature and confident person.
   • Does he flirt beautifully? You can formulate the question like this: does he like only your appearance or something more? Does he only compliment the body or something else?
   • Is he in a hurry? Men who are in no hurry love to savor everything that happens. They strive to enjoy every moment they spend with a girl. Guys who are rushing things will start dating the next girl sooner than you can figure out what happened.

2. Think about how both guys are feeling in you. This is as important as what you like about each of them. Perhaps one has the perfect set of qualities and all the character traits that you like, but the other makes your heart beat faster with just one short text message. Therefore, when you find yourself in the company of these men, think not about why you like them, but how you feel with them. Do you feel joy, self-confidence? Is your head spinning? Do you feel like you are getting better? Here are some things to think about:

   • How do you feel when he's around? Does he act like there is no one else around you, or is he just flirting with a lot of girls, including you?
   • Does he help you get better or is he content with what he has?
   • Do you feel the need to develop?
   • Does he give you subtle yet meaningful compliments?
   • Do your cheeks flash in his presence? Is your head spinning? Do you feel like a little girl?
   • Does he treat you like a real lady? Do you feel special?

3. Think about the negative personality traits of both guys. Perhaps you only think about the positive qualities and whether you have butterflies fluttering in your stomach in their presence, but you also need to evaluate the negative personality traits of guys and those aspects of their lifestyle that do not suit you. If you are determined to make a choice, about cons it is just necessary to think. Consider the following:

   • Does the guy carry a big emotional load with him? Does he have a difficult past behind him? Of course, you can be good together, but are you ready to face his past all the time?
   • Is he trying to manipulate or control you? Does he want everything to always be the way he needs, and does he refuse to admit that he was wrong? If so, then all this can serve as signs of selfishness, and this will significantly complicate the relationship.
   • Has he ever lied to you? You need a man you can trust, who will be honest with you, no matter how bitter the truth. Guys who like to talk behind their backs and spread gossip don't care much about those around them, which means it's best to stay away from them.
   • Does he always find trouble on his head? Bad boys may seem attractive, but if they constantly get in trouble, they simply won't have time for you.
   • Is he talking about his ex-girlfriend? If he regularly mentions his ex-lover, hints at something, or talks about her all the time, this should be taken as a bad sign. This does not mean that the guy is bad - it just, most likely, he still loves her.

4. Think about how each guy feels about to you. If they are both willing to do anything for you, the choice will be difficult. Of course, you shouldn't stay with the person who likes you more just in order not to lose money, but you need to think very well how important you are to each of the guys and what happens if you stop dating them. If you think that one guy or the other will just shrug his shoulders and immediately find a new girlfriend, you probably shouldn't continue the relationship with such a person. If you think that one of the guys has deeper feelings for you, this should be a serious argument in choosing.

   • Of course, it's not worth asking a direct question. You can understand how a guy feels about you by the way he looks at you, how often he wants to spend time with you and talk about the future together.
   • If you only want a short-term relationship or a holiday romance, then the prospects of the relationship can be ignored.

5. Ask your close friends for opinions. Remember why you need friends: they will support you, advise you on how to behave, and help you when you need it. Listen to advice, but always evaluate it critically. Decision to make to you... Remember, you shouldn't be asked to choose the best of the two guys - ask for help in figuring out who is best for you.

   • Don't ask which guy your friends like best. Ask who suits you best. The answers to this question will allow you to understand who is better for you to date, and not with whom your girlfriends would like to date.
   • Listen to what is being answered. If you have already decided everything, there is no point in asking your friends for their advice. If you want to be recommended something for you, be prepared to follow the recommendations.

6. Make a list of how these guys are similar and different. This will allow you to understand what you really want. How do you feel about each of the guys? Make a list of the qualities you want and don't want to see in your partner. Put the pros and cons against the guy's personality traits and match them to your wish list. You can ask yourself the following questions:

   • Which guy would treat you better?
   • Which of them will be ready to be there in difficult times?
   • Who do you have more in common with?
   • Which one of them will you look forward to every day?
   • Which guy can find common ground with your friends and family?
   • Who you literally can't live without?

7. Trust your intuition. It is far from always possible to choose what we like. A person is born with a certain set of qualities, and as they grow up, preferences are formed for each. Don't think too much about choice. Trust your intuition. Toss a coin in the air, decide that heads will mean one guy, and tails - the second. While the coin is in the air, consider which side you would like to see when it falls. This will be the answer.

   • If you you know for sure that one of the guys is not suitable for you, but you are still drawn to him (and at the same time you do not really like the second guy), take a break from both guys. Being free isn't so bad. In the end, it's much better than suffering in a relationship.
   • Learn from your mistakes. If you've dated someone and the relationship ended badly, don't repeat the same mistakes with the other person. Even if you really like him, why go through the same thing again?

8. Do not hurry. Do not think that you are obliged make a decision now - this process can take some time. During this time, guys can have time to do something good or bad, and this will facilitate the choice. If you have not made any commitments to any of the guys and if you do not feel that, communicating with one, you are cheating on the other, you can not rush to a decision.

   • Do not tighten everything too much for a long time. If you choose one guy, but he finds out that for many months you have been in parallel with another, it will greatly hurt and humiliate him.

   After the decision is made

   1. Make a commitment with the guy you choose. Once you have made a decision, do not deviate from it. This does not mean that you need to tell the other guy that you have a new relationship, because that will offend the person. Commitment manifests itself in feelings and actions. Try to build a reliable and stable relationship with the guy you have chosen, and only with him.

      • Get ready to meet and chat only with the chosen guy. Have fun with one person and don't think about what the other is doing.
      • If you feel empty inside without that second guy, it could mean that you made the wrong choice or that you never liked the person you chose to stay with - you only liked flirting.
      • Be friendly with the abandoned boyfriend, but don't be tempted to spend a lot of time with him or do anything together. If you are very nice to him, he will decide that he still has a chance. It will also lead to jealousy on the part of the guy you choose to be with.

   2. Be prepared for the consequences. Choosing one person will affect your relationship with both guys. You need to take it for granted: chances are you will break the second guy's heart and deprive yourself of the opportunity to build a relationship with him. If this guy doesn't know about the rival, you don't have to explain to him why you decided to end the relationship. You will probably feel much calmer when the choice is made, but you will have to worry.

      • Remember, you can turn guys against each other. What if they're best friends? What are you going to do? If you choose one, and the other will have feelings for you, most likely they will no longer be able to be friends. If you want to avoid this situation, you better find yourself someone else.
      • Know that you can lose your second boyfriend forever. He may refuse to be friends with you after a more romantic and intimate relationship. Perhaps it is for the best.

   3. Become aware of your decision. Your life one, and you have the right to live it the way you want, trying to cause others as little pain as possible. Guilt may gnaw at you, but ultimately, if you deal with your feelings, you will all be better off. Be proud that you were able to make an adult decision and not date two guys at the same time.

      • Don't be afraid to be wrong. The main thing is to draw conclusions from the error.
      • Don't worry about someone getting offended at you. When it comes to such an important decision, someone will be hurt anyway.
   • Remember, no matter what advice you get, it's up to you to decide.
   • If you start to feel anxious about not being able to make a decision, or if pressured and rushed, it is best to find someone else entirely. There are still many free guys in the world.
   • If you cannot choose in any way and you doubt whether your choice will be correct, try to refuse both guys. By trying to pick one, you make things difficult for everyone and torture yourself.
   • Think about how each of them feel about you. No, we are not talking about love, but about an attitude. If one of them is only slightly interested in you, and the other goes out of his way to walk with you in the park, keep this in mind. You hardly want to be left with a broken trough when it turns out that you have chosen a guy who did not feel any feelings for you at all. Exactly in the same way as you will not want to give up a relationship with someone who is madly in love with you, just because you just cannot let go of the first guy. And yes, if you really loved the first guy, you probably wouldn't start dating the other at the same time.
   • You don't have to make a decision overnight. The best decisions are informed decisions.
   • Do you love both? Choose the second one. If you truly loved the first, you would hardly fall in love with the second.
   • If guys ask you out at the same time, go with the one you think about more or the one who really makes your head spin.

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Someone will say - "to love two at once is licentiousness." And someone will note - “Great! Double portion of attention! " And someone in general will declare that this is not love at all, since you are drawn to two sides at once. And only one in a thousand will understand how hard it is when the heart breaks with love for both men at once.

What to do? How to choose one and only one of them two?

Testing Ourselves - 8 Methods of Choosing Between Two Guys or Men

If the heart does not want to be determined at all, and the mental weather vane is spinning like a madman, it makes sense to test yourself and make the task of such a serious choice easier.

We appreciate the positive qualities of each ...

• Does he have a sense of humor? Can he cheer you up, and does he understand your jokes? A person with a sense of humor looks at the world in a completely different way and charges everyone around with his optimism.
• How do you feel when he touches you? And is he able to restrain himself in the manifestation of feelings?
• What are his interests in life? Is he a purposeful person with his own outlook on life or a bore who most values ​​his own comfort in life?
• How does he behave when someone needs help? ? In a hurry to help, without hesitation, or pretending that it does not concern him?
• What exactly attracts him to you (other than your appearance)?
• How much time does he spend with you? Savoring every minute, stretching pleasure, rushing to you right away, barely had a free "minute"? Or is he in a hurry on a date, constantly looking at his watch, leaving immediately "after ..."?
• How often does he call you? Just before arriving with the brutal "Baby, I'll pick you up today"? Or, barely having time to go beyond the threshold, with a sigh - "baby, I already miss you" and almost hourly, just to find out how you are?
• Does he flirt with other girls in your presence?
• How does he relate to children?

Assessing our own feelings ...

• How do you feel when she calls or texts?
• Do you feel yourself next to him "in your place" and "at ease"?
• Does the touch of your hand make your heart beat faster?
• Can you imagine yourself with him in old age?
• Does he accept you for who you are?
• Do you feel next to him that “wings are opening” and “I want to live to the fullest”?
• Or are you next to him, like a shadow or a bird in a beautiful cage?
• Do you feel like you are getting better around him?
• Does it support your desires and aspirations in development?
• Do you feel yourself next to him special, the most beloved and desired?
• Without which of them you are suffocating, as if you cut off the oxygen?

We evaluate the negative aspects of both ...

• Does he have bad habits that annoy you?
• How jealous is he? It is bad if he is not jealous at all - either he is disingenuous, or he simply does not care. It is also bad if jealousy goes off scale, and every passer-by who smiles fleetingly at you risks getting in the nose. The golden mean here is just that.
• Does he care about what you are wearing and how you look? Of course, every man wants his woman to be the most stunning and beautiful, but a mature man usually hides the long legs of his half from prying eyes and disapproves of short skirts, too bright makeup and other delights.
• How heavy is the burden of the past behind him? And if "very difficult" - will it interfere with your relationship?
• Is he trying to control you? Or is he always looking for a compromise when a controversial issue arises?
• Is he able to admit that he is wrong?
• How often does he have outbursts of unreasonable aggression?
• Is he able to take the first step towards reconciliation if you had a fight?
• Have you noticed lies behind him? How frank is he with you? How high is the level of trust between you?
• Did he tell you about his past love? And in what tone? If he thinks about his ex too often - most likely, his feelings for her have not cooled down yet. If he remembers "in bad words" - it is worth thinking. A real man will never say bad things about his former passion, even if she gave him "hell on earth."
• If you get sick, does he run for medicine and sit by your bed? Or is it waiting for you to recover, occasionally sending SMS "Well, how are you doing there?"

We evaluate the feelings of both ...

• How deep is his feelings for you? Is he ready to connect his life with you forever, or is your relationship superficial and based only on physical attraction?
• What is he willing to sacrifice for you? Will he be able to rush after you if you suddenly decide to study / work in another city?
• What might his reaction be if you decide to break up with him? "Come on, goodbye" or "What's up?" Will it immediately disappear from your life or will it fight for you? Of course, you don't need to ask - just try to imagine the situation and its consequences.

Hall help or call a friend

If you have a relationship of trust with parents , share your problem with them. They will probably tell you what to do best for you, and will express their opinion "from the height of past years" about both candidates for your heart.

You can talk and with friends , but only if you trust them 100 percent.

And the decision, of course, is still up to you.

Making a list ...

• How are they similar to each other?
• What are their differences?
• What exactly do you feel for each (describe each feeling)?
• What qualities do you like about them?
• What qualities do you dislike categorically?
• Which one do you have more in common with?
• Which of them will you be happy to wait from work with a delicious dinner?
• Which of them do you want to introduce to your parents and relatives? And how can parents perceive everyone?

Throw a coin ...

Let one be tails and another heads. Throwing a coin, follow your thoughts - who exactly do you want to see on your palm?

We are not in a hurry ...

Don't try to find a solution immediately. Give yourself (and them) some time. Take a week off from both of them - which one will you miss the most? Just don't drag out this selection process for too long.

And if your relationship has not yet crossed that very border of intimacy, do not cross it. Make a choice before you realize that one of them has been changed.

The choice is made between the two guys - what's next?

1. If the decision is indeed made, it's time to part with one of them. There is no need to leave it "in reserve" - ​​tear it right away. In the end, if both of them dream of living with you until old age, then tormenting both of you on your part is simply unforgivable. Let go of the one that is less dear to you.
2. You do not need to tell him when parting that you have "different." Do this as gently as possible. It is unlikely that he will be delighted with your confessions, but it is in your power to soften the blow. Try to break up as friends.
3. The feeling of emptiness from the loss of the second is normal. It will pass. Resign yourself and don't screw yourself up.
4. Thoughts like "What if I was wrong?" also to the side. Build your relationship and enjoy life. Never regret anything. Life itself will put everything in its place.
5. Accept that one of the three of you will be hurt. It will not work in another way.
6. If your conscience is tearing you apart from the inside, and the decision doesn’t come in any way, and they, among other things, are also best friends, then part with both... This will provide yourself with a very solid "timeout" to sort out your feelings, and you will not become a wedge in their friendship.

In general - listen to your heart! It won't lie.

Have you had to make such a difficult decision, and what advice can you give to the girls facing the choice?

Often, girls are faced with such a nuisance as the choice between two guys. And, if the heart does not help to make a choice and it becomes difficult to determine your fate, you need to analyze the case and decide for yourself with which of them further life is possible.

1. Appearance is not the main thing

So, one should not be fooled by its beauty and charm. Quite often, these "dude guys" turn out to be narcissistic egoists. And it is important for a woman to be loved.

2. But sincerity is the main thing

Next, you can try to check both guys for sincerity. After all, talking about love and truly loving are completely different things. A person who loves always gladly accepts mutual love. If a guy can sacrifice anything for the sake of his beloved, this is a big plus in his direction. If, on the contrary, he does everything as beneficial only to him, and you are obliged to agree with all this - this is a bad quality, and you need to take a closer look at him.

3. Apple from apple tree

Meeting the parents is, of course, good. But what if neither of the two partners ever introduced you to their family? Try asking more about them. For example, as the father is, so is the son. And if the dad of your possibly future boyfriend respects women, then there is every chance that his son will have the same attitude towards you. If a strict patriarchy reigns in the family of a young man, the father is prone to frequent drinking, or, even worse, likes to hang out somewhere on the side, then, of course, you should think about whether you need a similar future. Naturally, it happens that a son sincerely loves his mother and, watching such nasty antics of his father, does not want to treat his wife either.

4. Say "no" to mama's sykochki

If the behavior of your boyfriend by all manifestations shows that he is a mama's son, and acts only as his mother tells him, then there is a chance that she will decide everything for both of you. And this will not please any girl.

5. Mutual tolerance.

This is a very important aspect, since each person has their own character traits and behavior. Very often you can hear that women marry such men, whose shortcomings they can tolerate. After all, you have probably met such women, they live peacefully with non-working husbands or with such men who have never hammered a single nail in their lives. And there are those who constantly reproach their husbands for "lazy behavior" and do not allow them to breathe calmly. Women, who always have cleanliness and order in their house, cannot come to terms with their husband's things scattered anywhere, and a scandal begins to arise.

6. Let's summarize

You should carefully compare all the advantages and disadvantages of the guys who look after you, and only then make a choice. However, even here you need to listen to your intuition and the call of your heart, since it is they who will help you make such a choice that you will not regret.

The situation in which a guy may find himself due to the fact that he likes two girls leads and, which we talked about earlier. However, for young people of adolescence, this is not uncommon. What should they do about it? Especially when some shout: "Make up your mind!" - and others - "Meet both!" In fact, if you want advice, then you will only hear what each person believes to be true for himself. This does not mean that his method and solution to the problem is right for you.

There are no universal recipes here, no one will point a finger at one of them and say: "This one, because ..." (and then a phrase should follow that will suit everyone: you, girls and the whole Universe). Even friends will not try too hard to help figure it out. Why? Because in fact, there are questions that only one person can answer a guy - he himself.

Each decision has its own consequences, but no one wants to be responsible for the most unfortunate of them, for the fact that you may regret the choice. And it’s wrong to take responsibility for your own life on someone. Consider yourself a man - be able to make independent decisions. How to do it? Accept one of them, any outcome of which will not make you regret choosing. Never. Whatever it is. Or, as one of my friends says: "Try to act so that your mother is not ashamed, bad and hurt because of you" - for him this is a guide in the most difficult situations of choice, he says that he never fails, despite the fact that mom knows nothing about them.

Some decisions are difficult to make, especially if you like two girls, and you do not want to offend or humiliate either of them, and you have no strength to refuse meetings with any. How are the poets doing?

"The soul is obliged to work day and night, and day and night."

It is difficult, because the soul is lazy, tries to work for the sake of selfishness, turns inside out, looks for simple solutions and easy ways. Discipline your mind, it will order emotions and recognize real feelings, if any.

I like two girls, but is it love?

Do you still think you have strong feelings for both girls? Are you sure it's mutual? Here are indicated, navigate by them. If so, let's figure it out. The fact is that there is love and falling in love, the latter can be very strong, and therefore is very similar to the first. The difference is that falling in love passes, but love never, never. How do you figure out what you feel about each girl?

Give yourself time, not to “think,” but to sort out your feelings. More than two weeks will not be needed, during this time usually any love goes away. What do you do: live, go about your business, play sports, meet friends and try not to think specifically about these girls. Assign yourself a fine (push out 10 times) if you still think about it. And now, if, despite your own strict prohibitions and penalties, during these 2 weeks you still continue to think about one of them, then it is definitely She.

I like two girls, how to choose?

Mind games can be bizarre, especially when you like two girls, because you can, out of the kindness of your soul, “help yourself” to make a choice, so there is another way: imagine, just very clearly, that tomorrow your girls will forever fly away to different planets, you will never see each other again, because to fly several light years, the ships cannot be caught up, and it will be impossible to find them there. Do not help yourself, take it for granted, as a condition of the task that cannot be changed.

You are standing at the spaceport, watch how they go to opposite exits. You will never see one of them. In fact, never. You have to make a choice ... Now ... they are coming ... for a few more seconds ... You will not see any of them, if you do not dare ... never ... Which one would you like to stop?

The first thing that came to your mind is the answer to your question. Unless it's "both!" This can also be. Then another option: just sit down and think (you can write on a piece of paper) why you like one girl, and why another. In the end, excluding any erotic overtones, you willy-nilly will draw 2 portraits: one of them will more resemble your future spouse, and the second ... get ready, an understanding, soulful friend. I will not tell you what exactly you write, so as not to help you. But such a result is a very common occurrence. Which girl you should choose, I think, there is no need to explain.

And even after all this, you don't know what to do, if you like two girls? You definitely like the third one, leave these two alone and look for your one.