Report on district parent meeting
« The psychological climate of the family as an important component in the upbringing of a child. "
Tasks:
1. Show the importance of the psychological climate in the family for raising a child.
2. To expand the knowledge of parents about the types of parenting and their impact on the development of the child's personality.
Plan:
1. The role of the family.
2. The psychological climate in the family.
3. Types of upbringing and their impact on the development of the child.
4. Viewing the presentation "On raising children."
5. Reflection.
Equipment, materials: laptop, presentation “On raising children”, OA Nikolaeva's blog “Besedochka” for work on the types of upbringing, handouts for each “Statements and aphorisms about raising children”.
PERFORMANCE:
The family acts as the most important factor in the development of personality. Here the child is born, here he receives the initial knowledge about the world and the first life experience.
Probably many will agree with me that it is the family, family education that plays a major role in the development of a child of both preschool and school age. The child should be raised by parents, and all social institutions (kindergartens, schools) can only help them in providing conditions for the child's self-development, helping him to know his individual inclinations, inclinations and realize them in an acceptable form that is useful for himself and society. Family education has a wide time range of impact: it continues throughout a person's life, takes place at any time of the day, at any time of the year.
What the child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his life. The importance of the family as an institution of upbringing is due to the fact that the child is in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of its impact on the personality, none of the institutions of upbringing can compare with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school he has already more than half formed as a person.
The family can act as both a positive and a negative factor in upbringing. The positive effect on the personality of the child is that no one, except for the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, does not love him and does not care so much about him. At the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as the family can do.
The family is a special kind of collective that plays a basic, long-term and important role in upbringing. It is in the family that the child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations of how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by concrete examples, so that he sees that in adults, theory does not diverge from practice.
PSYCHOLOGICAL CLIMATE
The more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family is called the psychological climate of the family. It is a consequence of family communication, i.e. arises as a result of the mood of all family members, their emotional experiences and worries, attitudes towards each other, towards other people, towards work, towards the events around them. In a family, people spend most of their lives; they are connected with each other by the most intimate feelings and relationships. Therefore, the psychological climate is a complex of psychological conditions that facilitate or hinder family cohesion.
The psychological state, development of the child is influenced by the emotional state of the parents themselves, the relationship between family members. All kinds of quarrels, alcohol abuse, scenes of physical harm to parents to each other, frequent abuse in front of a child negatively affects his emotional state. And if these cases are constant in the family and the child, in connection with this, experiences constant stress, then a neurotic state may arise.
The emotional state of the child, in turn, affects the intellectual development of the child. It is noted that the mental abilities of children and young people growing up in a negative social environment are definitely lower than those growing in a favorable social environment.
There are 2 types of psychological climate: favorable and unfavorable.
A favorable psychological climate of the family is characterized by the following signs: cohesion, the possibility of all-round personality development, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in belonging to one's family, responsibility, self-criticism and benevolent criticism of any family member are well developed, mutual tolerance and correctness in cases of mismatch opinions. Here the law of life is the desire and ability to understand another person. An important indicator of the psychological climate of a family is the desire of its members to conduct free time in a home circle, to talk on topics of interest, to do homework together.
Basically, parents spend most of their time at work, where their relationships, moods and, having come home, we sometimes do not think that our loved ones, mainly children, suffer from the fact that their parents are in a bad mood, there is no one to talk to. Sometimes we bring all negative emotions home, breaking down on our children. The unfavorable psychological climate of the family leads to quarrels, psychological tension, depression.
What happens to children? You can often hear from teachers that the child misbehaves in the lesson, interferes with the lesson, etc. But at home he is completely calm, polite. Why? This happens in the same way as with the parents. At work, we try to look carefree, but when we come home we become unbearable: everything annoys us, we don't want to talk to anyone, i.e. we get rid of all the negative emotions that we have accumulated over the whole day, and the child suffers, i.e. we transfer our problems and worries to our child. This happens all the time and turns into an appropriate lifestyle.
Ever since primary school age, we can observe how a child lives in a family, how he feels in it. You can not ask about this, but watch how the children play, during the game they transform into their parents, copy their actions (put them in a corner, swear loudly, etc.)
According to statistics, a child is given 17-30 minutes per day. This time decreases with age.
The child is brought up by the entire daily life of the family, the relationship between its members, to work, rest, etc.
“Your own behavior is the most decisive thing,” wrote Anton Semyonovich Makarenko. “Do not think that you are raising a child only when you talk to him, or teach him, or order him. You bring him up every moment of your life, even when you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk with other people and about other people, how you are happy or sad, how you communicate with friends or enemies, how you laugh, how you read the newspaper - all this is of great importance for a child. The child sees or feels the slightest changes in tone, all the turns of your thought reach him in invisible ways, you do not notice them. And if at home you are rude, or boastful, or get drunk, and even worse, if you insult your mother, you are already causing great harm to your children, you are already raising them badly, and your unworthy behavior will have the most sad consequences.
The true essence of upbringing work, you yourself have guessed about this, probably lies not at all in your conversations with the child, not in the direct impact on the child, but in the organization of your family, your personal and social life, and in the organization of the child's life. Educational work there is, first of all, the work of the organizer. In this case, therefore, there are no trifles. "
It is very important that the skills and habits of behavior that are formed in the child at school are consolidated in the family. Unified, coordinated requirements of the family and the school are one of the conditions for proper upbringing.
TYPES OF FAMILY EDUCATION
(BLOG assignments)
10 major mistakes parents make
in raising children
1. Inconsistency... This is a very common mistake. If the kid is mischievous, the parents scold him and warn him about all kinds of restrictions. But some time passes and mom, forgetting that she recently threatened the child, cancel a walk in the park or watch cartoons, as if forgetting about her own promise, leads to attractions or turns on an animated series.
Consequences: the child grows up self-willed, he ceases to take seriously the words of his parents. It turns out, as in the proverb: "The dog barks - the wind carries."
2. Inconsistency of demands on the part of adults... Often there is a situation when completely different requirements are imposed on the child in the family, for example, the mother wants the child to clean up the toys after the game, and the grandmother does it herself. Often, disputes about the correctness of a particular position are conducted right in front of children; opposing coalitions are created in the family.
Consequences: a child can grow up to be a conformist, adapting to the opinions of others. It is also possible to show disrespect for the parent, whose position the child perceives as unfavorable for himself.
3. Uneven attitude towards the child... More common in families consisting of a child and a single mother. The mother then kisses the child, playing with him, then withdraws into herself, not paying attention to her child, then screams and gets angry at him.
Consequences: a hysterical person will grow up who does not know how to control her behavior. Detachment from the mother is often observed due to the fact that the child does not know what to expect from her.
4. Connivance... The child does what he sees fit, regardless of the opinions and desires of the people around him. For example, when he comes to visit, he begins to demand that he be given a thing that he likes, although it is fragile and the owners value it, or during Sunday lunch in a cafe, he begins to run around the hall, pestering strangers who have come to rest. The parents of such a child are perplexed: “So what? He's a child! "
Consequences: you are guaranteed to grow up a terry egoist and impudent.
5. Spoiledness... It manifests itself in the fact that parents constantly follow the child's lead, fulfilling all his desires, often at the expense of infringing on their own interests or the interests of other people.
Consequences: This miscalculation in upbringing leads to the fact that the child grows up self-centered and callous.
6. Excessive exactingness, excessive severity... Exorbitant demands are made to the child, the most harmless pranks and mistakes are not forgiven him.
Consequences : lack of self-confidence, , often perfectionism, which can become an unbearable burden for a growing person.
7. Lack of affection... Skin-to-skin contact is extremely important little man, however, like an adult. Unfortunately, sometimes parents find it unnecessary to show affection for their child.
Consequences: the child grows up introverted, distrustful.
8. Unbridled ambition of parents. Adults in the family try to realize through the child what they themselves have not been able to achieve, regardless of his interests and desires. For example, they send him on a voyage not so that he physically develops and strengthens his health, but solely out of the desire to make a champion out of his child.
Consequences: if the child is not attracted to this activity, then, growing up, he will protest in any way. If the activity is to one's liking, but it does not justify the aspirations of the parents, then low self-esteem and dissatisfaction with oneself are formed.
9. Excessive control... A person must have a certain space so that he can make his own choices. Sometimes parents completely ignore the child's desires, taking control of any life manifestations (choose friends, track phone calls etc.)
Consequences: as in the previous case, a protest against unnecessary guardianship in the form of departures
10. Imposing a role... More often observed in families where mothers are lonely or there is no emotional connection between parents. The mother begins to talk about her failures, discuss other people, imposing problems that the child is not ready to perceive.
Consequences: mental stress that is unbearable for a child can cause pessimism and unwillingness to live, the proper distance between an adult and a child is erased.
Family drawing technique
gives an idea of the child's subjective assessment of his family, his place in it, his relationship with other family members.
Based on the analysis of the drawings of the children of the class, several general trends in the development of intrafamily relations can be distinguished:
if you want to know how your child feels in the family or how he treats relatives, offer him the task: "Draw your family"
If the child has drawn himself in the center, do not worry - he draws from the position of his vision. This is his world, in which he is the main sorcerer.
If he draws only himself, then he is lonely.
Usually, after himself, the child draws the one whom he considers to be the main one in the family. If he painted the pet second, then the child is lonely.
If someone has not drawn, he may be offended at him.
And if a child draws all relatives holding hands together, then in your family he is surrounded by love and attention of loved ones.
If the family does not communicate much, then the child does not draw mom and dad far from each other, with an obstacle.
If someone is depicted with no mouth, no arms, or with very long arms, then the baby is afraid of this person because they are shouting at him, severely punished.
If he draws someone with thumbs (like a "scarecrow"), the child seems uncomfortable in the world.
Legs are disproportionately thick - a tense atmosphere in the family; very long legs - striving for independence.
For a loved one, the child will take the same paints with which he painted himself.
A very contrasting image is a sign of a conflict that is not resolved for a child.
If the child is energetic, active, he will choose warm colors.
Cold colors - dreaminess, thoughtfulness are inherent in the character of the child.
Love for freedom, independence - if painting, jumps out of the outline with a pencil.
Neat shading, but in the presence of unpainted stripes says
about insecurity, defenselessness.
TESTING
(presentation)
REMEMBER! (presentation)
USEFUL LITERATURE
Annex 1
Characteristics, manifestations:
parents impose their opinion on the child.
"Suppression" of the child
Eternal directions, reminders, sovers
The child does not meet his own needs, but the needs of his parents, providing them with a more comfortable life
Possible consequences:
decreased interest in the world around and the formation of lack of initiative;
can lead to the development of personality traits such as shyness and self-doubt, or, conversely, aggressiveness and negativism;
The child becomes "deaf to the parent", waiting for the usual threats or raising his voice to begin to do what he is told.
upon reaching adolescence, the child may want to quickly break out of a too rigid system, where his interests are ignored, and find freedom
growing up, a child can fall under the influence of any other authoritarian system: sects, political parties, criminal companies, in which he will also be obedient to be ruled
becoming an adult, either he himself will acquire a very authoritarian character, or he will become an executor of someone else's will: passive, dependent and suppressed.
Parental motives
Against the background of the child's lingering problems, parents sometimes lose faith in his ability to be responsible or to do at least something on his own and well.
If the child does not have chronic problems, the parents' motive may be to compensate for the inner feelings that they experienced in childhood, when they felt that they were not noticed and not taken seriously. Parents' search for opportunities to assert themselves and feel their power sometimes ends with the use of children for these purposes.
Hyper-care type
Characteristics, manifestations:
Parents do their best to protect the child from possible dangers ("Do not climb the stairs, you will fall").
The child is protected from any difficulties, worries, negative emotions and experiences.
There are no requirements or responsibilities for the child.
They are afraid that all sorts of misfortunes will happen to their child.
Possible consequences:
Promotes the development of dependence, difficulty in making decisions, inability to find a way to resolve a previously unknown situation;
In critical cases - passivity and avoidance of solving a life problem.
The child will be poorly adapted to adulthood.
Infantile-consumer attitude to the world, the child has a delay in the development of skills.
Painful response to any demands and restrictions.
It will be difficult, and sometimes impossible, to cope with your feelings: grief, anger, resentment, which later still come in real life.
Difficulties in communicating with peers, when you have to independently defend your interests and solve emerging problems.
The child denies the justification of parental fears. He looks for opportunities to take risks and can act incredibly reckless.
Parental motives
This parenting style usually reflects the emotional problems of parents from their childhood, when they may feel unnecessary. The motive in this case is obvious: to feel knowledgeable and competent, important and needed, while caring for a chronically helpless child.
Hypocritical (conniving) type
Characteristics, manifestations:
Parents are not very interested in the child, he is left to himself.
The child lacks attention, care, warmth
It can be observed both in families with low incomes, where parents are forced to work a lot, and in families that are well-off in material terms, where parents are busy with their lives, dress and feed the baby perfectly, buy toys, but have practically no contact with him.
Possible consequences:
The absence of rules and requirements leads to the fact that the child does not have a solid support, a sense of security;
The child has a feeling of uselessness, that he is not loved
Parental motives
This is how parents can behave:
Who, throughout their own childhood, felt ignored, rejected, rejected, and not cared for enough;
Democratic type
Characteristics, manifestations:
Parents are considered to be in charge they own the bulk of the power and responsibility, but when deciding important issues, the interests of the opinions of children are taken into account.
The child is well aware of his limitations, responsibilities, area of his responsibility
The parent is involved in the growing up of the child.
Possible consequences:
The child is aware of his needs and understands the desires of others
The child acquires emotional stability, self-confidence
Self-reliance, responsibility, the ability to cope with many of life's difficulties corresponding to age.
Appendix 2. Statements and aphorisms about raising children
The best school of discipline is family (Smiles S.)
The main meaning and purpose family life- parenting. The main school for raising children is the relationship between husband and wife, father and mother. (Sukhomlinsky V.A.)
Do you know what the surest way to make your child unhappy is to teach him not to be denied anything. (J.J. Rousseau)
Many troubles have their roots precisely in the fact that from childhood a person is not taught to manage his desires, they are not taught to relate correctly to the concepts of can, it is necessary, it is impossible. (Sukhomlinsky V.A.)
Nothing works in the young souls of children stronger than the universal power of example, and yet by all other examples no one else is impressed in them deeper and more firmly than the example of parents. (Novikov N.I.)
The guilt and merit of children falls heavily on the heads and consciences of their parents. (Dzerzhinsky F.E.)
Our children are our old age. Correct upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our fault before other people, before the whole country. (Makarenko A.S.).
Parents often confuse the concepts of "upbringing" and "education" and think that they gave the child upbringing when they forced him to study so many subjects. Hence the frequent disappointment of parents in their children in subsequent years. (Rubinstein A.G.)
Family in a person's life... There seems to be no person who does not know the expression: "All happy families are alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." This is how Leo Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina begins. What is behind the now-classic phrase of a writer and a wise man who has gone through a difficult life path? Can you find a universal secret of family happiness?
Popular wisdom says: "We choose friends, but we get our relatives." For centuries, the family has been revered as a great value, especially when a person needed a large team in order to survive elementarily in the difficult conditions of the struggle for existence.
In our modern society large families become a rarity, and relatives are sometimes barely familiar. Today, even very elderly people will not immediately be able to explain who a brother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law is. The words seem outdated, archaic. This is probably because family ties are becoming less strong, concentrated within the so-called nuclear family, which consists only of parents and children. Even grandparents often live separately from their grandchildren. Such fragmentation cannot but give rise to alienation.
Family ties are based on consanguinity. It would seem that what could be stronger and more reliable to protect a person from loneliness? But alas ... Far from every family, even the closest people understand each other.
The family in modern society is becoming a small group. True, a small group is special.
Firstly, this is a kindred union, which is based on an emotional feeling - love (first marital, then parental, filial or daughter). Family relationships based on emotional closeness contribute to caring for the most vulnerable members of society. No wonder they say that the humanism of a society is determined by the position of the weak in it - children and the elderly.
Secondly, the family carries out the most important function of biological and social reproduction of the population. Recently, British genetic scientists have established that the namesakes descended from a common ancestor. Think about it, ultimately all people on Earth are relatives in some generation.
Thirdly, upbringing is carried out in the family, that is, the transfer of experience, certain foundations, values to new generations. Kind family traditions- a source of stability and humanity of society.
What determines the psychological climate of the family... The concept of "psychological climate" arose by analogy with the geographical climate. One of the modern psychologists owns the following words: “The psychological climate, or the microclimate, or the psychological atmosphere — all these rather metaphorical than strictly scientific expressions very well reflect the essence of the problem. Just as in one climate a plant can wither away, and in another it can flourish magnificently, a person can [or] experience inner satisfaction ... or decay. "
In the family, as in a small group, each participant in the relationship has its own roles. Moreover, the roles of family members (mother, father, eldest son, younger sister etc.) coincide with the group role (leader, "soul of society"; "brain center", "scapegoat", etc.). Often in a modern family, the role of leader belongs not to the father, as it was in the patriarchal family, but to the one whose contribution to family well-being is recognized by all family members.
Think about the climate in the family, where the question is constantly on the agenda: who is the boss? Is the unambiguous answer really that important? Maybe, instead of him, you should always remember about moral responsibility and often ask yourself the question: how to help the closest and dearest people? In an atmosphere of mutual concern, the issue of leadership will be decided by itself. The head of the family is the one who surrounds those in need with care and attention.
First of all, the psychological climate determines the well-being of a person in the family (mood, psychological comfort). This well-being depends on the relationship between members of the family team. It is the relationship of care, attention, cooperation that makes the family climate warm and pleasant. On the contrary, disrespectful attitudes, indifference make the climate harsh, unpleasant, difficult to exist in it. A favorable family atmosphere is incompatible with the "law of the jungle", where physical strength and enmity reign. Harsh, hostile, irreconcilable relationships destroy the family structure. At the same time, of course, not only adults suffer, but above all - children.
In modern psychology of family relations, there are three main styles of family relationships: permissive, authoritarian and democratic. Each of them has its own climate.
The permissive style of relationships usually manifests itself in the family as the absence of stable, if not all, relationships. In such a family, icy detachment, cold alienation, indifference to the affairs and feelings of the other reigns. Such a family is only formally something whole, but in reality everything in it is dead and lifeless, like in an icy desert.
The other two styles represent a kind of scale, where on one pole there is unceremonious dictate, cruelty, callousness and aggressiveness towards each other, and on the opposite pole there is genuine equality, mutual warmth, richness of feelings, cooperation. Probably everyone will agree that the best climate develops closer to the democratic pole.
In family relationships, their orientation is also distinguished. So, in many families, the focus on activity prevails - on the business side of life. This benchmark, the assessment of people by their success in their work, can give rise to extremely soulless business people who do not think about the feelings of loved ones. In such families, you can hear: "I do everything to ensure well-being, and the rest does not concern me." Children in such families sometimes find it difficult to meet the overestimated expectations of parents, for whom the success of their children is one of the elements of success in life.
Sometimes the family places too much emphasis on relationships with other people. Excessive enthusiasm for such an orientation leads to excessive selectivity in communication and closure in a close circle of “friends”. At home in such a family, not only strangers feel uncomfortable, but also those of relatives who do not correspond to the idea of "a person of our circle."
The next type of focus in family relationships - towards oneself and self-satisfaction - can in extreme cases give rise to a relationship of selfishness, selfishness, which is incompatible with family happiness. Often such families experience storms, storms, ending with the death of the family ship.
So, the psychological climate of the family is a relatively stable emotional attitude. It is the result of the totality of the mood of family members, their emotional experiences, attitudes towards each other, towards other people, towards work, towards the events around them. A favorable psychological climate is characterized by cohesion, benevolent exactingness towards each other, a sense of security, pride in belonging to a family. In a family with a favorable climate, love, trust in each other, respect for elders, mutual respect, and a willingness to understand and help others reign. An important place in creating a favorable climate belongs to the family way of life, traditions, common spiritual values. The family, as a special small group based on family ties, presupposes special intra-family communication, during which the family realizes its functions. For communication in a favorable family environment, naturalness, cordiality, and mutual interest are characteristic.
An unfavorable family climate leads to tension, quarrels, conflicts, and a lack of positive emotions. Younger family members especially suffer in such an environment. In the most severe cases, this climate leads to the disintegration of the family.
Family debt... Close family ties with particular acuteness raise the question of compliance with certain moral requirements. The transformation of these requirements into personal rules, their acceptance by a person as an indispensable condition for relations with others is a moral duty.
There is a duty of the family to society, its future. It consists in the fact that it is the family that primarily influences the upbringing of children. Constitution Russian Federation directly indicates that “caring for children, their upbringing is an equal right and responsibility of parents” (Article 38). Society, represented by the state, assumes the protection of the family, motherhood and childhood, and requires parents to fulfill their family duty. Every child from the moment of birth has a state guaranteed right to the care and attention of adults. Although the family is a purely personal matter, the state is not indifferent to the conditions under which its citizens are formed; it, while granting parental rights, at the same time determines the duty, the civic duty of parents - to take care of their children, to create the necessary conditions for their full development. If the family does not fulfill these obligations, the parents may be deprived of their rights in accordance with the procedure established by law.
At the same time, it should be noted that parents have equal rights and obligations in relation to children. The law does not distinguish between men and women in determining their civic duty to take care of family and children, their health, physical, spiritual and moral development, training and material support, to advocate for them in all institutions. In these rights and obligations, the duty of parents to their children is realized.
The data of special studies show that satisfaction with family relations among modern Russians largely depends on mutual understanding, mutual assistance and interaction between spouses and parents. Among other things, the foundations of the strength and happiness of future families are laid in today's family. Let us recall the wonderful words from the work of a German humanist of the 15th century. S. Branta:
The child learns
What he sees in his house:
Parents are an example to him ...
If children see us and hear us,
We are responsible for our deeds
And for the words: easy to push
Children on a bad path.
Keep your house decent
In order not to repent later.
The concept of "family debt" is not limited to the duty of parents to society and their children. Honor requires the return of debts both in the literal and figurative sense of the word. Children also have a responsibility to take care of their parents, especially as adults. If you count on an equal position with other family members, then the duty to take care of the family, its well-being, everyday life, and the emotional atmosphere lies with you. It is often worth remembering that the family is a small group. Little things are very important in it, which can make the life of a family unbearable or, on the contrary, smooth out difficulties and hardships, create an atmosphere of warmth and comfort, which we associate with the concept of "father's house".
In conclusion, we will not deny ourselves the pleasure to quote S. Brunt once again:
The fools are dumber, the blind are blind
Those who have not raised children
In decency, in obedience,
Without showing care and diligence ...
- Family.
Basic concepts
- Psychological climate, family debt.
Terms
Self-test questions
- What role does the family play in society?
- What are the main functions of the family?
- What are the roles that exist in the family? How are they related to group roles?
- What determines the psychological climate in the family? What factors (conditions) does it include?
- How do you understand what family debt is? What is it made of?
Tasks
- Draw a genealogical tree of your family. In the family album, find photographs of relatives unknown to you personally, ask your parents about them.
- Collect family stories and legends. Determine what psychological climate these family stories reflect.
- Remember what family heirlooms are kept in your family, to whom they belonged, what events are associated with.
- Comment on the following lines of S. Brant from the point of view of the psychological climate in the family:
He who, seduced by money, into marriage
Preparing to join - fool:
Quarrels, scandals, fights will wait!Pick up proverbs and sayings that correspond in meaning to this fragment of the work of the German humanist "Ship of Fools".
- Make up your own interpretation of the concept of "family debt", if necessary, refer to dictionaries.
Socio-psychological climate- integral characteristic of the system interpersonal relationships in a group, reflecting a complex of decisive psychological conditions that either provide or hinder the successful course of the processes of group formation and personal development.
A favorable socio-psychological climate in a community is directly related to the level of socio-psychological development of the latter. In this regard, the defining signs of a favorable socio-psychological climate are clearly expressed socio-psychological phenomena of interpersonal relations, which are characteristic of groups of the collective type.
Thus, such indicators are:
a high level of awareness of all members of the group about the goals and objectives of joint activities,
a high degree of mediation of interpersonal relations (including mutual appreciation in the community) by the goals and content of group pro-social activity,
significant severity of effective group emotional identification,
adequate attribution of responsibility for successes and failures in group activities,
high rate of reciprocity in the field of attraction and reference relations,
a high indicator of value-orientational and subject-value unity,
the ability and readiness of group members to manifest personal self-determination, etc.
A favorable socio-psychological climate acts as one of the decisive factors in the effectiveness of group activities. This is largely due to group compatibility and consistency.
5.2 Types of families according to the spk.
Let us turn to the characteristics of the typologies of families. (See Figure 12)
Figure 12
Types of families by socio-psychological climate
1. Integrated and disintegrated families differ in the degree of involvement of family members in the family group, in their spiritual and emotional cohesion, in the degree of their cohesion. In integrated families, each family member identifies with the family group, considering themselves as its obligatory and full-fledged member, feeling their security and counting on the material and moral support of the family in difficult circumstances. In disintegrated families, family members are isolated from each other, each lives by himself and is purely formally interested in the problems of others. It is quite natural, and this is confirmed by observations, that disintegrated families are more likely to have a suicidal effect on their members than close-knit, highly integrated ones.
In terms of dysfunctional parent-child relationships, the most likely are partially disintegrated families with micro-groups or family coalitions within themselves, which may consist of family members or include broader groups of relatives on the part of one of the spouses. Children who find themselves alone in front of a coalition of relatives united against him feel that they are constantly hiding something from them and are trying to isolate them from family contacts. The reasons why someone finds themselves in the position of a rejected family member can be very different. A typical example is the isolation of a daughter-in-law in a family in which the son married against the will of his parents and they do not consider her a “couple” for him. Isolation is then one of the means of rejection of the “foreign body” from the family. Problematic behavior is possible in families that are superintegrated. With a high cohesion of family members, most often spouses, and in single-parent families- mother and child - the feeling of personal autonomy is violated, persons who are accustomed to being in each other's company use only the pronoun “we”, “our”, and do not like to say “I”, “me”, they think of their existence only next to each other friend, being in symbiosis. The death of one of them makes them completely helpless.
2. In the following polar types of families, the distinction is made according to the degree of psychological and value-orientational correspondence between family members. This harmonious and disharmonious families. In harmonious families, in turn, one can distinguish artificial and natural harmony. In the case of natural harmony, the psychological structures of the personality are ideally matched to each other, there is no problem of adaptation in communication and it does not take much time and effort to establish mutual understanding. Artificial harmony can be talked about in cases where a high degree of agreement is achieved through the conscious efforts of all family members, necessary to achieve mutual understanding.
Disharmonious families are characterized by a mismatch of goals, needs, motives among family members. Consent is noted on a situational basis, compliance with accepted norms is often compulsory, causing frustration and mental stress. Disruption of contact between members of such families indicates that they do not have a mutual orientation towards community and consent, a desire to compromise their interests and habits. People with impulsive personality traits, egocentrism, despotism, feelings of sexual inferiority, incomplete sexual identification, and emotional coldness are poorly compatible in the same family.
3. Depending on the characteristics of communication, namely, the communicative attitudes of family members are distinguished corporate and altruistic families. In corporate families, strict control over the behavior of all members of the group is established; they do not have a unifying idea of sacrifice, despite their emotional attachment to each other. Even in intimate relationships, this element of corporatism persists: spouses show feelings of love on condition of reciprocity, but if the partner ceases to reciprocate, love turns into hostility or hatred. The psychological balance in such families is unstable: they are constantly counting who and how much effort has spent for family well-being. This relationship is more typical for spouses, however, children quickly learn this style. Having matured and gained independence, they do not feel responsibility to their parents, do not pay attention and support to them.
In altruistic families, the dominant attitude among all members is that everyone takes responsibility for the well-being of others. They are characterized by the practice of sacrifice without the thought of receiving compensation in the future. These families turn out to be almost invulnerable to innovations: worsening financial situation, illness of one of the family members. a failed career is incapable of dramatically weakening someone's position, causing a feeling of uselessness. Each family member is valuable to others in and of itself, and not in terms of his contribution to status or material security. Even violators of family norms do not feel isolated and rejected, on the contrary, they seek to help them, sacrificing peace and well-being.
4. The following two types of families: open and closed... They differ in the nature and number of connections with the outside world.
Closed families strive for some communicative self-sufficiency, the number of their contacts with the environment is small. The family for its members is of the greatest value, it is the main sphere of their life and the starting point for evaluating people and events.
In open families, the personal orientation of everyone is not limited to family interests. The social ties of the members of such families are extremely diverse and are constantly expanding.
5. According to their ability to adapt in innovative conditions, families are diagnosed as flexible and conservative... Flexible families have more adaptive resources than conservative ones. If someone has an industrial conflict, or trouble communicating with friends in flexible families, they quickly find the best solutions. In conservative families, however, they grow up on a stereotyped experience of getting out of difficulties, tension around the culprit is unnecessarily heightened, and his temporary isolation may arise, leading to discontent.
6. The next two types - authoritarian and democratic families differ in the nature of the distribution of power. In authoritarian families, power is in the hands of one family member - husband, wife, grandmother, eldest son, etc. and accordingly important decisions for the family are made only with his consent. In democratic families, there is equality in decision-making, or a functional distribution of power: some aspects of life are ruled by a husband, others by a wife, others by a grandmother or someone else.
7. Problematic families. These include families:
a) whose members lead an asocial lifestyle,
b) suffer from alcoholism or drug addiction,
c) have mental illness.
The psychological climate in the family and styles family education.
Objectives: 1. The development of the parents' need for the acquisition of psychological and pedagogical knowledge.
- Improving pedagogical culture.
- Information support for parents.
Equipment: report class teacher, presentation, tests for parents, questionnaire for students, reminders for parents.
Meeting progress:
Good afternoon, dear parents and guests!
Our meeting today is dedicated to family relations, the agenda of the meeting is as follows:
- Lecture by the class teacher.
- Results of the 3rd quarter.
- Miscellanea.
- As an epigraph to our conversation today, I took the words of Leo Tolstoy:
"Happy is he who is happy at home."
What caused the choice of this topic?
Someone might say that it’s probably too late to talk about the psychological climate and styles of family education.in the 7th grade. First, it is never too late to educate! Secondly, it is in grades 7-8 that a decrease in student performance occurs and this largely depends on the psychological climate, both at school and at home. Thirdly, the children now have a rather difficult physiological period, and who, if not their parents, and, of course, teachers should be extremely attentive to children and show maximum efforts in the upbringing process. It is easy to offend and hurt a child at this age, but it will be very difficult to regain trust.
If you use the technique of psychologists, then you can imagine that the child is a bowl. ANDthe task of the parents is to fill it.How do you want to see your child? What character traits should he have?
What qualities would you like to endow him with?
Probably, each of you dreams that his child will grow up healthy, strong, intelligent, honest, fair, noble, caring, loving. And none of the parents will wish the child to become deceitful, hypocritical, vile. It is not enough to fill the cup, it is important that it does not splash, does not break, but becomes even richer. The family in which your child lives should be one of the few places where the child can feel like a person, receive confirmation of his importance and uniqueness. The family gives the first and main lessons of love, understanding, trust, faith.
Yes, the topic of the family worried people at all times. Each family decides for itself how to raise their child. There is no consensus on this issue. Every adult can play a huge role in a child's life - creative or destructive. Most psychologists believe that the psychological health or ill health of a child is inextricably linked with the psychological atmosphere, or climate of the family, and depends on the nature of the relationship in the family. In familywith a favorable psychological climateeach of its members treats the rest with love, respect and trust, for parents - also with reverence, for the weaker - with a willingness to help at any moment. Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate of a family are the desire of its members to spend their free time at home, to talk on topics of interest to everyone, to do homework together, to emphasize the dignity and good deeds of everyone, and at the same time the openness of the family, its broad contacts. Such a climate promotes harmony, reducing the severity of emerging conflicts, relieving stressful conditions, increasing the assessment of one's own social significance and realizing the personal potential of each family member.
When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, tension, alienation, and even conflict in interpersonal relationships, they have a feeling of insecurity in this case, talk aboutunfavorable psychological climatein family. All this prevents the family from performing one of its main functions - psychotherapeutic, relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a deficit in positive emotions.This negatively affects primarily children,on their behavior, attitude towards others, academic performance.
The nature of intrafamily relations, the moral and psychological climate of the family have a great influence on the formation of the child's personality. Learning the norms of behavior and parental relationships, children begin to build their relationships with loved ones in accordance with them, and then transfer the skills of these relationships topeople around, comrades, teachers.
Before the meeting, I spent anonymous questioning with the children of our class, to determine the psychological climate in families.You can see the results of the survey on the board(Annex 1).
What is the right way to give what children expect from us? How to distinguish between wrong and right upbringing? And can parenting be wrong at all?
What methods and styles of upbringing are we guided by? Which one is the best? Maybe a little bit of everything?
In the classification of the educational style of parents, most often
there are three: democratic (authoritative), liberal (conniving) and authoritarian, and their corresponding (reciprocal) child characteristics. In its most general form, it looks like this.
Now I will ask you to take a test to determine your parenting style. (The results will remain with you, and you do not need to voice them!)(Appendix 2.)
Now let's move on to characterizing the styles of family education, and you will be able to determine the advantages and disadvantages of your style.
Democratic parents- initiative, kind children. Parents love and understand their children, they often praise them, and, as a rule, they do not punish them for mistakes, explaining why it should not be done this way. They react calmly to whims, firmly refuse to obey them. As a result, children grow up to be inquisitive, confident, communicative and self-respecting.
Liberal parents -impulsive, aggressive children. Parents have almost no control over their children, allowing them to do whatever they want, including not paying attention to aggressive behavior. As a result, it becomes unmanageable.
Parents establish strict control over the behavior of their children, believing that they must obey their will in everything. Punishment, as well as intimidation and threats are most often used as methods of education. Children are gloomy, anxious, and therefore unhappy.
In addition to the styles of upbringing, psychologists have identified a huge number of types of upbringing, but I want to draw your attention only to those types that negatively affect the psyche of the child:
"The idol of the family"
Probably, any of us would not mind at least for someone to become an idol, let for a moment ... and speaking about this type of upbringing, it involuntarily seems that the child is lucky: he is adored, he is really loved, loved not just, but without limit. Any whim of a child is a law. In all his actions, his mom and dad find only uncommonness, and even the pranks of the "idol" are unique. Such a child, firmly believing in his exclusivity, grows up as a capricious, self-willed egoist, only consuming and not wanting to give in return.
Being ahead of their peers in terms of demands, the “idol” of the family often lags behind them in basic developmental skills: he is not able to wash and dress himself, the parents relieve the child of all responsibilities. And this will affect later, when the working life begins.
"Hyper-care".
Such a child is deprived of independence and does not strive for it. The child is accustomed to obeying and following the advice of adults who have thought through his whole life to the smallest detail, "worked out" her route, involuntarily turning into dictators. They, without realizing it, out of the best intentions, dictate every step to the child and control him in everything, probably even in his thoughts. Raising him to heaven, they not only admire the child, but also "prepare" the child prodigy. He wants to meet expectations. And so that he justifies them, he is protected not only from the vicissitudes of fate, but also from the breath of any breeze. And since they are protected, it means that he is really of great value and, believing in this, the child exalts his persona, day by day only plunging into the greenhouse climate of his family: overprotection is
shakes creativity.
Life by prompts is existence. Quite often, overprotection leads to violent protest reactions.
"Hypopeka".
The other extreme of our educational influences. The child is left to himself. He feels himself unnecessary, superfluous, unloved. Parents only from time to time remember that he is, and pay him a minimum of attention. And he is capable of at least a drop of attention to everything. Nobody wants to satisfy his needs at all. Forced to think of himself, jealous of all children
All this is reflected in the child's psyche, and over time he suddenly begins to feel inferior. And this complex, the complex of the child's own inferiority, haunts him then all his life.
"Education in the cult of disease."
This type of upbringing usually occurs when a child suffers from a fairly serious chronic illness or when parents, fearing that the child will suddenly fall ill, shake in horror at him, warning all his desires, and he, perceiving any illness as his privilege, gives
he has special rights, involuntarily speculates on the current situation and
abuses it.
He expects sympathy and compassion from everyone, and even “fights” for it. Such children, growing up, often find it difficult to adapt to reality.
They often choose the path of opportunists or sycophants. Their lot is that of weak-willed and pampered people.
Which of us, parents, wondered which of these types are used by us? It's never too late to think about and make adjustments to your style of communication with your child. After all, if today he is only for everything sprout , which craves moisture and warmth, then tomorrow it will already give you fruits, in which worms can appear, destroying them and you.
But which of us is not without sin? Everyone has a negative character trait that prevents us from being better. The dignity of a person is that he admits his shortcomings and tries to correct them.
We need to learn to control our actions and deeds. Weigh every word, learn to love and understand your children, and the results will not be long in coming.
“The main mistake of parents is that they try to educate their children without educating themselves!” Leo Tolstoy.
And now, I offer you several problem situations, let's try to find a way out of them.
Problem situation 1.
The daughter skips school, explaining to the teacher that she is caring for a sick grandmother.("Today Maria Ivanovna called about your attendance. I was very ashamed during the conversation, and I would like to avoid these experiences."
Problem situation 2.
Your child has not cleaned his room, and guests have come to you. ("I feel embarrassed when guests see your room like this, it looks much better tidy. ”)
Problem situation 3.
The son returned home later than usual.(Mom comes to the meeting and says: "When someone comes to the family later than we agree, I get so worried that I can't find a place for myself")
2. Results of the 3rd quarter. The quarter ended well. Out of 17 students:
Excellent student -1
With one "4" - 1
Khoroshistov -8
Dear parents, now I would like to ask you to express your views on our meeting.
If you have any questions, please ask.
I want to end my speech with the words of the famous teacher V.A. Sukhomlinsky:
"Loving your children, teach them to love you, do not teach them - you will cry in old age - this, in my opinion, is one of the wisest truths of motherhood and fatherhood."
And I would like to present you with reminders that may help you to adjust your relationship with your children.(Appendix 3).
Thanks to all the participants! And please remember always!
Family Is what we share for everyone
Little by little: both tears and laughter
Rise and fall, joy, sadness
Friendship and quarrels, silence print.
Family is what is always with you
Let the minutes, seconds, years rush.
But the walls are native, your father's home
The heart will remain in it forever.
Appendix 1. Questionnaire for children.
Read the following statements. If you agree with the statement, put "yes", if you do not agree, put "no".
1. Our family is very friendly.
2. On Saturdays and Sundays it is customary for us to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together.
3. I feel very comfortable in my house.
4. Best of all I rest at home.
5. If discord occurs in the family, then everyone quickly forgets about it.
7. Visiting guests are usually beneficial to family relationships.
8. In my family, at least someone will always comfort me, cheer me up, inspire me.
9. In our family, everyone understands each other well.
10. When I leave home for a long time, I really miss my "home walls".
11. Friends who visit us usually celebrate peace and tranquility in our family.
12. It is customary for us to have a rest in the summer with the whole family.
13. We usually carry out labor-intensive tasks collectively - general cleaning, preparation for the holiday, work at the summer cottage, etc.
14. A joyful, cheerful atmosphere prevails in the family.
15. It is customary in the family to apologize to each other for mistakes or inconveniences.
16. I am always pleased with the order in our apartment.
17. We often have guests.
eighteen . The presence of some family members usually throws me off balance.
19. There are circumstances in our family's life that greatly destabilize relationships.
20. Some of the habits of a family member annoy me a lot.
21. There is a very unbalanced person in the family.
22. Observed: Visits by guests are usually accompanied by minor or significant conflicts in the family.
23. From time to time, strong scandals arise in our house.
24. The atmosphere at home is often depressing for me.
25. In a family I feel lonely and useless.
26. The environment is rather painful, sad or tense.
27. In the family, it annoys me that everyone or almost everyone in the house speaks in a raised voice.
28. The family is so uncomfortable that you often don't want to go home.
29. I am often bullied at home.
30. When I come home, I often have such a state: I do not want to see or hear anyone.
31. Family relationships are very tense.
32. I know that some in our family feel uncomfortable.
Data processing.
For each answer "yes" in 1-17, 1 point is awarded.
For each answer “no” at 18-32, 1 point is awarded.
Results:
The indicator "characteristic of the family biofield" can vary from 0 to 35 points.
0-8 points. Stable negative psychological climate. In these intervals there are families who recognize their life together as "difficult", "unbearable", "nightmarish".
9-15 points. Unstable, variable psychological climate.
16-22 points. Uncertain psychological climate. Some "disturbing" factors are noted in it, although in general a positive mood prevails.
23-35 points. Stable positive psychological climate of the family.
Appendix 2. Test for parents.
- What, in your opinion, determines character to a greater extent
a person - by heredity or upbringing?
A. Mainly upbringing.
B. A combination of innate inclinations and environmental conditions.
B. Mainly inborn inclinations.
2. How do you feel about the idea that children are raising their parents?
A. This statement has nothing to do with reality.
B. I agree with this, provided that we must not forget about the role of parents as educators of their children.
Q. I absolutely agree with this.
3. Do you think that parents should educate children about gender?
A. When the children are old enough, it will be necessary to start a conversation about this, and in school age the main thing is to take care of protecting them from immorality.
B. Of course, parents should do it first.
Q. Nobody taught me this, life itself will teach.
4. Should parents give their child pocket money?
A. It is better to regularly issue a certain amount and control costs.
B. It is advisable to give out a certain amount, for a certain period, so that the child himself learns to plan expenses.
Q. If you ask, you can give.
5. What do you do if you find out that your child was offended by a classmate?
A. I will go to sort things out with the abuser and his parents.
B. I will advise the child how to behave better in such situations.
B. Let him understand his relationship.
6. How do you feel about your child's foul language?
A. I will punish and try to protect from communication with ill-mannered peers.
B. I will try to explain that in our family, and indeed among decent people, this is not accepted.
B. The child has the right to express his feelings, just think, we all know these words.
7. How do you react if you find out that the child lied to you?
A. I will try to bring him to clean water and shame.
B. I'll try to figure out what prompted him to lie.
Q. If the reason is not too serious, I will not get upset.
8. Do you think you are setting a good example for your child?
A. Certainly.
B. I try.
Q. I hope so.
Processing of results.
Count the number of answers corresponding to each letter.
Answers prevail A - authoritarian parenting style.
Most Answers B - authoritative (democratic) parenting style.
Most responses V - conniving style of education.
Appendix 3.
Memo to parents.
If the child is constantly criticize, he learns .... (to hate)
If a child lives in enmity, he learns ... ( be aggressive)
If the child grows up in reproaches, he is studying… ( live with guilt)
If the child growing in tolerance, he learns ... (to understand others)
If a child is praised, he learns ... ( to be noble)
If a child grows up in honesty, he learns ... ( to be fair)
If the child grows safe, he learns ... (to trust people)
If the child is supported, he learns ... (to appreciate himself)
If a child is ridiculed, he learns ... (to be withdrawn)
If the child lives in understanding and friendliness, he is studying… ( to be responsive, to find love in this world.)
« Loving your children, teach them to love you, do not teach them - you will cry in old age - this, in my opinion, is one of the wisest truths of motherhood and fatherhood. " V. A. Sukhomlinsky
Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate in a family are the desire of its members to spend their free time at home, to talk on topics of interest to everyone, to do homework together, to emphasize the dignity and good deeds of everyone. Such a climate promotes harmony, reducing the severity of emerging conflicts, relieving stressful conditions, increasing the assessment of one's own social significance and realizing the personal potential of each family member. The initial basis for a favorable family climate is marital relations. Living together requires spouses to be willing to compromise, the ability to reckon with the needs of the partner, to yield to each other, to develop such qualities as mutual respect, mutual trust, and mutual understanding.
When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the family from performing one of its main functions - psychotherapeutic, relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a deficit in positive emotions. If family members do not strive to change this situation for the better, then the very existence of the family becomes problematic. The psychological climate of the family is expressed in the prevailing attitudes and moods: enthusiastic, joyful, light, calm, warm, anxious, cold, hostile, suppressed.
With a favorable microclimate, each family member feels equal among equals, needed, protected and confident. He feels the family is a kind of refuge, where he comes to rest, or a well, where he draws life-giving freshness, vigor and optimism. The main thing in a family is a sense of self-esteem and a desire to respect the right of everyone to be a person, and not just a husband, father, master of the house or a partner. A favorable psychological atmosphere is associated with such communication, which is not a burden to any of the family members.
A favorable psychological atmosphere is present in a harmonious family. In such a family, the joy of life is felt. All the inhabitants of the House are sure that they will be listened to with interest and joy. Everyone here knows that they are reckoned with and always take into account the position of others. Therefore, people openly show their feelings: joys and sorrows, successes and failures. In such a family, people are not afraid to take risks, because they know that the family will understand that the search for something new is always associated with possible mistakes. Mistakes indicate that a person is growing, changing, improving and developing. In a harmonious family, everyone feels in their place, and they are what they want to see themselves - recognized and loved. They are used to looking at each other, not at the ceiling. And even babies look open and friendly. A tacit calm reigns in the family (but not indifferent silence for fear of being misunderstood). A storm in such a House is a sign of some very important activity of family members, and not at all an attempt to start a quarrel. After all, everyone knows: if they do not listen to him now, it is only because there is no time for this, and not because they do not love him. In such families, people feel cozy and comfortable. Adults and children do not hide tenderness and at any age show it not only in kisses, but also in the fact that they openly talk with each other about themselves and their affairs.
Family is a complex system of relationships between spouses, parents, children, and other relatives. Taken together, these relationships make up the family's microclimate, which directly affects the emotional well-being of all its members, through the prism of which the rest of the world and their place in it are perceived. Depending on how adults behave with the child, what feelings and relationships are manifested from close people, the child perceives the world as attractive or repulsive, benevolent or threatening. As a result, he develops trust or distrust in him. This is the basis for the formation of a positive self-awareness of the child. Emotionally favorable relationships in the family stimulate feelings, behavior, actions directed at each other in all its members. The well-being of a person in the family is transferred to other areas of relationships (to peers in kindergarten, school, work colleagues, etc.). On the contrary, a conflict situation in a family, a lack of spiritual closeness between its members often underlie developmental and upbringing defects.
To maintain a favorable climate in the family, it is necessary to maintain the communicative sphere of life at the proper level. Communication between parents and children is an important point in giving the house a positive psychological atmosphere. The main law is to feel comfortable when communicating.
The formation of a favorable psychological climate is influenced by the type of family, the position taken by adults, the styles of relationships and the role they assign to the child in the family. Under the influence of the psychological climate, the personality of the child is formed.
